When Theo is Gone: Part V

Last week, you read my Mom’s account of how the animals all seemed to misbehave when Theo is gone. Well, this week, I have yet another account of animals misbehaving when Theo is gone.

Now, at the time that this story takes place, we had quite a zoo. We had a new dog, two cats and a lot of chickens. I was monstrously pregnant and it was very, very hot. Even when Theo was home, we sometimes had trouble with this amount of pets, but we still stuck with it and decided that it was completely worth it.

*Ahem* We have since changed our minds….but that is a different story, for another time.

On this particular day, Theo went off to work before dawn. I hauled myself out of bed at a decent hour because I had to unlock the chickens from their coop. If chickens don’t get a certain amount of daylight hours, they won’t lay eggs, so I knew I needed to get up to let them in. Plus, the dog was whining to get out as well. And I’m sure the cats were scratching at my door for me to come and feed them.

So I hauled myself out of bed and let the dog outside, then made a stop at the bathroom for me. We had a fenced in backyard with a chicken coop, also fenced off. Next, I headed outside to feed the chickens and let them out of the coop. The dog bounded all around the yard and waited for his food. I fed the dog, and then went inside and fed the two cats.

Finally, I got around to eating my own breakfast. I have no recollection of what I was eating, but in the middle of eating it, I had to get up to let the dog in. I let the dog in, and sat down to eat my own breakfast. I was probably also doing my devotions, so I was slowly savoring my breakfast and my devotions.

I probably read about two sentences before I realized that the dog was missing. Hmmm…there is something fishy going on when a wild puppy suddenly goes missing. Not in the living room, not in the bathroom, not in the bedroom, not in the dining room or kitchens…..HE MUST BE IN THE BATHROOM.

I run to the bathroom and voila…there is puppy. I’ll give you ten guesses what else was housed in this small bathroom. I’ll even give you a couple of hints: the cat uses it, it smells, it contains fecal matter.

Well, in this case it didn’t contain fecal matter anymore. Just imagine those innocent puppy eyes looking up at you with litter scattered all across his nose.

ARGGGG! Into the cage went the dog! Finally, order was restored. I went back to my devotions. As soon as I started to read my Bible, the dog started to whine. And whine. And whine. I can stand all kinds of noise- people talking, music playing, traffic, sirens… but dog whining? I. CAN’T. HANDLE. IT. So I finally get up to go let the dog outside to run around the yard.

I sit down and distinctly remember that I was eating a muffin. That small detail is actually important to the story. This wasn’t just any muffin. It was a poppyseed muffin. A family favorite. An incredibly delicious muffin, meant to be savored slowly without interruption.

No sooner had I sat down and bit into my muffin when I heard “booook boooooook awk!” coming from outside. I didn’t even need to look outside to know what happening.

The dog had a chicken pinned to the ground and was gently gnawing on her.

Being the calm person that I am, I ran to the backyard, yelling at the dog. The dog ran off and the chicken just laid on the ground. I thought for sure it was dead and that I would have to bury this chicken all by myself. On closer inspection, the chicken was fine and was playing dead. Either that, or recovering from a heart attack. Either one is a totally viable option.

Anyways, with the chicken saved, I called the dog back inside to his crate.

And that’s when I spotted it. Our cat. Sitting ON the table. Licking up the very last crumbs of my wonderful, delicious muffin.

Yes, you read that right. The very. last. crumbs. The entire thing was GONE!!!

And that my friends was just an hour into a day of when Theo is gone.


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