Oh, yes…didn’t you know?
I married Mr. Perfect.
He helps around the house.
He treats me right. (Better than right, actually).
He plays with Tera until her adorable giggles and screeches fill up the whole house.
He works hard. VERY hard.
He is talented…he makes me things and hangs things and is good at seeing a pin on Pinterest and creating it for our home.
Oh, yes…he is all these things and much, much more.
And I know what you might be thinking. He is everything that your husband is not.
But I have a dilemma here. I have a slight issue to address. Are all those things I listed above true? Yes.
Am I the most blessed women in the world? Yes.
Is my husband perfect? No.
I hate this standard that we have on social media. We share EVERYTHING. Except the bad things. The fights. The tears. The dirty dishes and the cat hair on my couch. The weaknesses that my husband has. Heck, even the weaknesses that I have. None of that gets shared.
If you are a regular reader of this blog, you know that I’m a huge fan of being honest about my life. I will tell you that Tera is the most wonderful thing to ever happen to me….but I will also tell you that I’ve never been more exhausted or crazy or frustrated in my life. I will tell you when I make an awesome recipe, but I’ll also tell you when I’ve failed (and that happens more often than not!). But the one thing that I don’t share on here?
I don’t share about my husbands weaknesses. I don’t share about his downfalls or his failures or how he might have let me down last week.
I read a book recently. The book was written by an American woman who decided her children were too entitled and she was doing everything for them. So she set out to teach them how to be more responsible and less entitled. She taught them how to clean their own rooms, how to wash their own laundry, how to host a party, how to cook a dinner and how to get a job. It was actually a pretty good book. But at the end of the book, I closed the cover, and I was annoyed. Why? Well, because at the end of the book I knew next to nothing about her husband, except two things:
1) He was a missionary kid. It stood out…because I’m a missionary kid and I’m proud of it. I thought for sure that would make this husband an awesome guy. Because missionary kids are awesome people. Oh, yes…we are.
2) He went against her on one of the tasks. Instead of letting the kid do it and teaching the kid how, the husband did it himself. She was furious at him, and spent at least two pages writing out her reasoning for being furious at him.
That is literally all I know about this husband. Was he on board with the experiment? Did he support her? Did he oppose her? Did he help? Was he gone for the 12 months? Did she ever forgive him? Did they make it work in their marriage? I. do. not. know. All I know is that she painted him out to be an absolutely absent jerk. And the kicker?
This was a Christian family.
I was appalled.
And that’s when I realized that I needed to share this with you….you who are reading this blog.
My husband is NOT Mr. Perfect. He messes up. We fight all the time. Sometimes he doesn’t treat me like a princess.
BUT! I will never, ever write about those times on this blog. This blog is a platform to first and foremost glorify God, and the primary way I can do that is through respecting and reverencing my husband. And I most certainly aim to do this through my blog.
So…I just wanted to the clear the air a little bit. If you were starting to think that we had the perfect life and the perfect marriage, that is not true. But the reason I don’t write about that is not because I want to present my best foot forward. The reason is because I love and respect my husband (who is truly amazing, by the way), and will protect our marriage by not blabbing around about his faults.
So for that reason, I hope that you do think my husband is Mr. Perfect. If you are reading or hearing anything from me, you should know nothing else. I hope that if you are married woman, you present your husband in the same way.
Do you see my dilemma? I want to be honest, I want to be open, and I want to encourage you if you are going through a hard time and it seems like no one else is. Let me tell you what…you can talk to me. You can call me, you can email me. Because you are not alone. BUT! I will not talk about Theo’s faults on this blog, and even if we talk one on one, that is not a chance for me to gripe about his failures. There is no excuse.
Don’t get me wrong! If you want to know how hard marriage is, or have questions about how to love and pursue your husband, or to hear that it is not always easy, to know that you are not alone…I will be your first supporter. I would love to talk with you, to email you, to chat and pray with you over your marriage and the trials that do come from two imperfect people being married.
So, ladies, I hope that for you, too….your husband is presented as nothing less than Mr. Perfect.