You are sitting on my lap as I write this, yelling at the top of your lungs. You are so excited and want to bounce yourself up and down, which sure makes it hard to type! You now stare intently at the screen as the little black words appear. You are mesmerized.
And I’m mesmerized by you.
How can such a little thing, such a tiny human have taught me so much?
On that first day I met you, you taught me that love and bonding can happen even if you didn’t grow in my womb.
In that first week, you taught me about survival, about how to fight for life and health. You taught me to never do drugs.
In that first month, you taught me what needs are. You had so many, and so often.
In our first months together, you taught me patience. You are still teaching me that one.
In our first months together, you taught me what siblings look like. I’ll never, ever be able to forget about the bond that you and Tera have formed.
In our first months together, you taught me what making a marriage a priority looks like. And you taught me that it’s hard when there are no babysitters!
In our first months together, you taught me what the foster care system is like. You taught me that it’s a broken system, run by broken people just doing their best to help children. Children like you.
In our first months together, you taught me all about loving and respecting people who haven’t made the best decisions with their lives. You taught me that your sweet biological Mama is not the bad guy. You taught me that you deserve for me to love and respect her, in our home, with my words and my actions.
You taught me that I actually can listen to a baby cry for three months straight. You also taught me that I can go 7 months without sleeping. That’s not something that I really wanted to learn, but thanks for teaching me anyways.
You taught me that the bond of family can go deeper than the bond of love.
You have taught me that God is in control…no matter what the circumstances and my emotions are telling me.
You have taught me all about loving fiercely and then letting go.
You have taught me that anything given to me by God is only mine for a time, and that is not my own timing.
You have taught me about how to take care of curly hair and bi-racial skin (Ok, I’m still learning about that one).
You have taught me how to be a better Mom, a better wife, a better friend. This has usually come about through my mistakes in those areas.
Little Miss, we are still learning. We are still learning about you. We are still learning how to be your parents and your sister. We are still learning to love fiercely and then have to let go. We are still learning how to take care of your hair and how to balance respecting your birth Mom while at the same time not supporting her decisions.
We are still learning. But you- with your curly hair, and your early neediness, and your explosive personality- have taught us so much.