On Your First Birthday

Dear Little Miss,

You will be on my mind all day today.

That’s because today, September 1st, is your first birthday.

A year ago you came into this world. You didn’t choose your birth date or the hospital you were born in any more than you chose the circumstances that surrounded your birth.

You didn’t choose to be addicted to multiple types of drugs. Nor did you choose to go through the painful withdrawals that followed.

You didn’t choose to have Children’s Services contacted, nor did you choose to be taken away from your beautiful mother. You only knew her and her love, and I know that if you could’ve chosen, you would have chosen her to keep you. I wish that the circumstances were different so that you could’ve chosen her. And she you.

You didn’t chose what Children’s Hospital you ended up in, nor did you choose the caseworker who placed you. You didn’t chose your foster family and you certainly had no clue what you were getting into.

Baby girl…I’m so glad God chose you for our family. I’m so glad God know the hardships and the intricacies of your life, from your very first breath (and even before that). I’m so glad that God chose September 1st as your birthday. I’m so glad that God chose the hospital and the caseworker. But mostly? I’m so glad that God chose us as your foster family. I cannot imagine how different my life would be today if He hadn’t.

We miss you everyday now that you are gone. We miss your screams and your giggles and your laugh and sometimes even your cries! We are SO thankful that you now have such a wonderful Daddy and Mommy who will love you and keep you forever.

You are ONE, baby girl! You are feisty and fiery and unstoppable. You are hell on wheels and have the sweetest sweet cheeks and the loudest giggles (and cries). You have defied the odds since the beginning. Foster Care. Drugs. Moving through multiple families. The Cycles of Addiction. You have had all these labels slapped on you in your brief one year of life. And you just laugh. You literally have just laughed in the face of  all of it.

They told us you would be delayed. In your first year of life, baby girl, you did not do one single thing on a delayed schedule. Instead, you tackled the world with such a fierceness and have overcome.so.much.

We are so proud of you, baby girl. We love you and we miss you and we are so happy that you get to be a forever family with so much love. We are SO thankful that your forever family has allowed us to be in your life and that we get to see where life takes you. We cannot wait.

You are going to be a world changer, Little Miss. And when you are, I will stand up on a mountain and shout “That’s my baby! That’s my girl!”. Your time with us was so very short, Little Miss, but I will never forget you and I will always celebrate you.

One year down. Many to come.

Happy First Birthday, Little Miss.

20 comments

  1. Amy says:

    Happy Birthday little miss! My son turned one in June and it is so precious to see them all smiles on their special day. Adorable pictures, Suzanne!

  2. Patricia says:

    Oh Suzanne!! This just touched my heart so deeply!! What a beautiful letter and I’m praying or you as you celebrate and mourn this day. She was so blessed to begin this life with you!!!

  3. Jacki Q says:

    oh gosh this is so beautiful! She may have had a rocky start, but she has received so much love in such a short amount of time that nothing in this world will ever hold her back! Happy 1st birthday Little Miss!

  4. Jen says:

    Well, this is just the sweetest! I love that she’s still in your heart and on your mind. What a great way to honor her and make her feel special…one day she may see this and know how truly loved she is. Just wonderful Suzanne!

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