If I’m being completely honest, 2018 terrifies me.
It’s kind of crazy if I think about it, because we are literally living the dream. This will be the first year ever in our marriage where we have no major changes planned. No new jobs or new houses or new career pursuits. No new children that we know of (although I’m not crossing that entirely off the list). Lord willing, this will be the first year of actual financial stability where our income exceeds our expenses.
And yet I’m absolutely terrified.
Part of it is the fact that juggling three kids is still insane. I’ve had three kids for eight months now and while most days I feel like I have a handle on it, many days I still feel like I’m drowning. Maybe it’s the fear of navigating these pre-teen waters. It’s already getting pretty choppy and we haven’t even gotten to full-blown teen yet (for the record…the behavior has next to nothing to do with foster care and everything to do with being 11 years old. We would be facing many of the same challenges if Heavenly was biologically ours).
Part of it is the fact that Theo’s shift is less than ideal for family life. As I approach this year, I am starting to understand why so many police marriages end. Not because our marriage is on rocky waters, but because marriage to a police officer is less an ideal. Theo will be working every weekend of 2018, and 2nd shift on top of that. Not to mention the stress and danger that comes with his career. We are still so, so glad that this is the career he chose and I’m still 100% behind him, but it’s going to be challenging to face this year and be intentional in our family dynamics and relationships.
Part of me is worried that this year will be full of loneliness. Not only does Theo’s shift keep him away from me for a lot of hours, but him working weekends and evenings means that I will be saying no to a lot of social opportunities for me. If you take out nights and weekends, there isn’t much left for a stay at home Mom of three to do with other adult human beings.
So I’m not going to lie…I’m terrified.
However, I’ve been fighting this fear by working hard to focus on the positive. I decided to make some goals for myself and to really focus on being positive. A lot of my goals are more mental than actual physical goals, and I won’t be sharing all of them in this post. But I wanted to share some of them to keep myself accountable and so you can keep me accountable, too!
- Host a SW Ohio Blog Meetup!
- Redesign Blog
- Be on a podcast
- Make $300
- Publish a book
- Get away for a weekend
- Do monthly AT HOME date nights
- Complete a 30 day marriage challenge
- Build a habit of praying together each night
- Decorate basement/Make it more homey
- Redo Heavenly’s room
- Set up a blog, homework and preschool station
- Hang updated family pictures
- Run a half marathon
- Read 40 books
- Use a babysitter to get out with ladies 1x a month
- Join a book club
- Find a cute haircut & maintain it
- Send 2 handwritten cards a month
- Memorize 2 Bible chapters
- Pay off the loan we took out for the basement
- Make enough monthly income from our AirBnb to pay the mortgage
- Tithe 10% of our income
- Live 20% below our income
- Save enough money for a down payment on a rental property
Kids & Family
- Go on a family vacation
- Get passports for my kids (I’m ashamed that my kids don’t have passports…the MK in me has failed!)
- Find closure for Heavenly (I don’t know what this will look like, but I’m hoping we will get answers by this time next year)
- Do 4 days a week preschool with Tera (we are talking 15-20 mins here people, calm down)
- Memorize 10 Scripture verses with my kiddos
- Take in at least one temporary foster placement
- Run a color run with Heavenly
- Go backpacking
- Go to the Ohio State Fair