Caring for Myself

Happy Valentines Day!!!

I hope no matter where you are- work, at home; no matter your circumstances- single, dating, engaged, married, widowed- that you are told today that you are loved.

This is me and my man back in 2011 when we took our engagement pictures. BABIES! Babies, I tell ya. We’ve been dating for 8 years and married for 5 now!

Today I am joining a linkup and the prompt is- How Do We Take Care of Ourselves?

I recently wrote a post on Dayton Mom’s Blog on the subject of how our culture has made self-care a trend, and a lot of us (me included) fall into some dangerous lies of self-care.

Basically, the premise of the article is this- self-care has become such a trend that I do it without thinking. I tell myself that I deserve it because so and so says I do or because my feelings today say so. However, as a Christian, I have to remind myself that this is more a lie than a truth because God calls us to lay down our lives every single day. He calls us to live a life that is thinking more of others than ourselves. He calls us to have the same attitude as that of Christ Jesus, who being in nature, God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking on the very nature of a servant.

Now, all that said- I’m not here to bash self-care. I just think that the term and the cultural implications need to be changed for those of us who are believers. I do also believe in the idea that we can’t give from an empty well. We can’t pour into others if our own cup is empty.  And this is for sure a delicate balance, one that I have not yet found the secret to.

One thing I have done is to make several lists of how I spend my time.

List #1: My default “me-time” moves:

  • Scrolling IG stories or other social media
  • Cleaning my house
  • Baking something that will make my family love me more 😉
  • Burying my head in a book
  • Spending money on Amazon Prime
  • Trying to ignore my kids while all they want is my attention (let’s be real here)

List #2: Things that Don’t Really Fill Me Up:

  • IG stories or other social media
  • Cleaning my house
  • Spending money
  • Planning events or get-together with girlfriends (going to said events is another matter entirely)
  • Trying to ignore my kids

List #3: Things That Leave Me Feeling Replenished:

  • Quietly reading a book 
  • Baking something for my family
  • Getting outside 
  • Writing a letter or a journal entry (or basically anything with pen and paper!)
  • Getting into Scripture 
  • Talking with a close friend 
  • Laughing and Making memories with my kids 
  • Going for a run (sometimes it means pushing a double jogging stroller!) 
  • Spending time with my husband (with no phones involved) 

Let’s be real- in this stage of my life, it is very hard for me to get away from my kids. So at this stage in my life I’m doing the best I can to make the most of the time that I do have with them. That doesn’t mean that I don’t need breaks- I do! It just means I often have to shift my mindset and haul all of them out of the house with me so I can get some fresh air, or set everyone up with a book station so that I can also read a book for 10 minutes.

So what about you? What is on your lists? What are the things that you always default to? What are the things that you find DON’T help you at all? What are the things that really, really do replenish you?

4 comments

  1. Crista says:

    I’m exactly the same with scrolling social media. I think it’s good ‘me time’ but by the time I get off, way too much time has passed by. I’ve gotten nothing done, I’ve ignored my kids, and often I feel more drained than when I started! The one thing I TRY to do for myself everyday is get a shower. But even that looks different now than before kids. For one, it doesn’t happen every day. And when it does happen I have at least one, if not both, of my kids in the bathroom with me. Thank you for your honesty on your blog…. Your blog is one of the main reasons I keep Facebook! 🙂

  2. Tess says:

    I also agree 100% about social media. Oh, how I wish I could quit. But right now we are pursuing domestic infant adoption, and our agency puts a big emphasis on self-promotion on Facebook. We have a page, we post, we beg for shares, we do live videos. So I feel kind of stuck for now. Sigh. But I could do better about being on there less. You inspire me!

    • [email protected] says:

      I know..it’s so hard! I’ve gone off social media for periods of time before and when I come back I feel SO refreshed, but I always feel like I missed really important things, like a good friends pregnancy announcement. You just keep on keeping on with your adoption, and God will open the doors. Once you get your sweet baby, I’d highly recommend no social media while you bond and adjust. I wish I had done that with all of my babies- both bio and foster!

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