Well, I’ve been quiet on this ol’ blog for a week because we have a new placement in our home!
On Mother’s Day (Sunday) we got the call. I will admit that I was about to say ‘NO’ when Theo said ‘WHY NOT?’
And my life will never be the same.
She’s here. She’s 10. She’s beautiful.
And we once again took the bold step to climb into the roller coaster they call foster care, buckle our seat belts and try to hang on for dear life during the crazy ride.
Each day has been a unique cocktail of emotions ranging from an overwhelming feeling of blessing, to an overwhelming feeling of doubt.
I cannot believe that our family was chosen for this sweet girl, that we get to spend all summer together and that I get to be a second Mom for her (and not replace her first one). I can’t believe all the details of her case and how they have fallen on these lines of surrender.
Although we are in the honeymoon stage and have had no issues to complain of, it’s still been an incredibly challenging adjustment. My 10 year old is independent and sweet, and school drop off and pick up is not a big deal. My two year old is so incredibly intelligent and fun and soaking up absolutely everything she can learn. My seven month old is adorable and learning so much and finally sitting on his own and brings so much joy to everyone around him. But mix all three together and I feel like I’m always waking somebody up from a nap, taking all three kids to every appointment in the world, entertaining 2+ people while I change a diaper and try to keep up with my pumping schedule. I’m suddenly cooking for an extra person and the laundry is piling up. In and of itself, a 10 year old is EASY! A 2 year old is EASY! A baby is EASY! But put all three together and it’s not so easy anymore.
I have mad respect for Moms who do this all the time…Moms whose normal is always waking up the baby to pick up the older kids. I get that this is nothing new or even difficult to the average Mom with a wide age range in children (or a lot of children that span a wide age range), but for me it’s all new and it’s HARD to adjust.
I’m struggling with balance. I want to give our sweet girl the world, but I also don’t want to give her a world that makes hers seem ‘less than’. She has remarked several times how HUGE our house is and how small hers is. I have reassured her over and over that there is nothing wrong with a small house because love and learning can still live there. She has talked dreamily about Kings Island and I want to load her up and take her RIGHT NOW but I don’t want to take a trip like that away from her Mom. Yesterday she said that she had never received a package in her life, and I want to go Amazon and order every single item that would relate to a pre-teen, and fill her room up with packages so that she can receive package after package. But I don’t EVER want to give my children the idea that stuff can buy happiness.
I’m so proud of my Tera and Kiah who just take everything in stride. Kiah has been battling a rather nasty cough virus for a few weeks now, and I’m just so proud of him for being a trooper through all the crazy transition. Tera is resilient and loves her new sister so incredibly much (sometimes too much), but it has been the hardest on her, I think. She exhausted from being dragged out of bed every morning and doesn’t understand my urgency when I tell her to ‘put on your shoes RIGHT NOW because we need to go do pickup’. It’s an adjustment and she will be fine, but for these first few weeks we just need to rough and tough it out.
Theo, of course, is plugging away at the academy and emerged from last week with some battle wounds: cracked/broken ribs with misplaced cartilage. He is in excruciating pain for most of the day and yet he is still so faithful to help me out with the kids as soon as he gets home. He doesn’t get any time off, nor will they take it easy on him, so it looks like we will just have to power through during work hours, and rest at home as much as possible (ha!).
Since our sweet girl is 10, I will be sharing little to no information about her online. She is old enough to have her own story and it’s not mine to tell. I know that everyone has questions, and as usual you can feel free to ask any question you may have, but please know that I may not be able to answer them.
It is looking like she will be with us throughout the summer, so this afternoon I’m pulling out the pasteboard and making a summer bucket list!
Of course, your thoughts and prayers are very much appreciated in this time of transition. We are establishing rules, but at the same time we have never done this before and she has never had these expectations before. Up until this moment, we have always said ‘Oh, when our kids are 10 they will….’ Well, now we have a 10 year old literally plopped into our laps and the rubber meets the road. Of course, we haven’t had 10 years of training to reach this point, so it’s going to be a lot of frustrations and teaching and learning and making it work. I taught her how to wash dishes last night, and as I dipped my soapy fingers into the water with hers, I was overcome by the immense blessing, privilege and responsibility that I have to foster this sweet girl.
Your prayers are needed, friends.