Reading People: The Lens of Personality

Have you heard of Anne Bogel’s new book, Reading People? 

   

This is one of the books that I read this past month and I am here to declare to you that it is a must read!

Anne explores the different aspects of our personality, and how they shape who we are and how we respond to situations. This book is a must read for anyone who is ever around other people. Um, that would be all of us.

She starts out her book explaining why the framework of personality is so important to understand…and how often we get it all wrong. She explores and explains the basics of personality: being an extrovert or an introvert and understanding whether or not we are Highly Sensitive People.

She then dives into several different personality-determining tests: Love Languages, Keirsey’s Temperaments, Myers-Briggs, Clifton Strengthfinders, and the Enneagram.

From the moment I started this book, I was completely fascinated. As I read through each personality type, different people I know pinged into my head as EXACTLY like that. When I started the chapter on Highly Sensitive People a lightbulb went off in my head. I finally figured it out. I’m not an extrovert with introverted tendencies. I’m a Highly Sensitive Extrovert. It literally makes PERFECT sense. Seriously, I felt so much more comfortable and confident in myself after realizing this about me.

This book made me want to take every personality test that Anne listed. Many of the personality tests need to be given by an official, and often can cost a lot of money. But by using free internet tests and then reading through Anne’s explanation of each out, I was able to determine fairly easily where I feel within these personality frameworks.

Just in case you are curious, I’m a highly sensitive extrovert whose love languages are gifts and words of affirmation. My Keirsey Temperament is Guardian which makes me a “loyal mate, responsible parents and steadying leader” (For the record, Theo is a Rational and I’ve never read a description that describes him better. He is a “reasonable mate, individualizing parent and a strategic leader”). I am an ESFJ and my strengths are in Relationship-Building Themes. I am hands-down a TWO (The Helper) in the Enneagram.

If you have no idea what that entire last paragraph meant, then you need to pick up Anne Bogel’s book Reading People and determine what you are!

Seriously- this book has a way of changing lives and relationships. Not only has the Five Love Languages already changed my marriage, but knowing these personality frameworks changed even more of my parenting, and specifically foster parenting! As I was reading through the chapter on Keirsey’s Temperament, my mouth literally fell open. Anne was giving an example of her daughter that has to know everything weeks/months in advance. and how that drives Anne crazy because IT SHOULDN’T HAVE TO BE THAT WAY. The reason that this description surprised me so much was because it was describing Heavenly and Theo to a T! I always thought that she asked so many questions so far in advance because she was unsure of her place in our home and wasn’t completely confident in feeling secure and safe in our due to the trauma she has endured (for those of you visiting, Heavenly is our 11 year old foster daughter). Meanwhile, Theo is always laid-back and go with the flow and the questions drive him insane because he doesn’t know what is for dinner tonight, tomorrow or next Friday, nor does he know (or care) what we are doing next week. Turns out Heavenly is a Guardian and Theo is a Rational! I am sure that her past plays a huge role in many of the behaviors that she displays in our home, but it was such a relief to me to realize that some of it was also her personality! And now that I know, I can parent her so much better from here on out.

All in all, this book is absolutely fascinating. It’s true what Anne Bogel says- that understanding personality changes everything.

 

Reading People comes out on September 19th!

You can preorder a copy here, and enjoy some awesome preorder bonuses!

You can also take Anne Bogel’s Reading Personality Quiz here.

And while you are at it, you must follow Anne Bogel’s blog and subscribe to her podcast, What Should I Read Next.

 

 

 

 

 

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