Dayton Strong

I don’t know where to begin this post, but I do know that I have to write about it.

On Sunday morning, August 4th, we woke up to the news that there had been a mass shooting downtown in Dayton, OH.

This was jarring not only because this is extremely close to where I live, and I have walked the very streets that are now covered in blood, but because my husband very easily could have been there.

You see, when he goes into work everyday, he puts on a bullet proof vest and over the top of that he dons his uniform shirt. The exact same uniform shirt that can be seen in the video scene from the mass shooting just a few nights ago. Seeing those officers run towards the shooter with the city logo emblazoned on their shirtsleeve was chilling for me.

Theo has worked that exact shift before. Since this is such a popular night life area, there are always officers on patrol there. Sometimes, the officers are on their assigned shift, but usually it is a bunch of officers who are simply picking up overtime hours.

I think that many people assume that police officers just sign up to be an officer and go through some amount of weapons training. But this is far from the truth. My officer went through eight months of constant training. Training for everyday traffic stops, training for suicide calls, training for drug overdoses, training for CPR/First Aid, training for recognizing and dealing with racial bias, and training for active shooter situations, just to name a few.

I have nothing but the highest of praise for the Dayton Police Department. The fact that those men were trained so well made the biggest difference. The fact that they ran towards the shooter while everyone else ran away is a true act of heroism. Even those who have sworn into wear the badge still have a natural fight or flight response, and it requires some quick thinking on their parts to respond to an active shooter. Those six officers are truly heroes and deserve recognition and praise. The news reports that the shooter most likely would have killed close to a hundred people if he had not been stopped WITHIN 30 seconds.

Let’s also not forget to commend those who were on scene who are not getting heroic shout-outs, but who are heroes nonetheless. In addition to the six officers who took down the gunman, many more officers quickly responded to the scene. They used tourniquets, performed CPR and transported patients to the hospital. Let’s also not forget the medics and firefighters who were also quick to follow on scene. I’ve heard from some of these people that it was a horrendous sight, and I know that it will be an image that will never fade from their minds. Let us also not forget the bouncers at the bars who quickly sheltered many people- I can’t imagine how many more lives would have been lost if they hadn’t stood outside holding the doors open. Let us remember those doctors and nurses at the area hospitals who jumped right into their mass casualty/active shooter training.

Of course, after hearing all of the news, my heart is heavy. I have so many thoughts swiveling in my head, and I just needed a place to record them here. Just remember that these are my thoughts and opinions, and you are more than welcome to have ones that differ from mine.

First– thank you to those who called, texted and messaged me as soon as you heard the news. Theo is safe. But he could have been there. It easily could have been him.

Second– it would be so easy to just move on. Honestly, if I didn’t spend time thinking about it, I could go about my life as completely normal. My kids weren’t affected, my husband wasn’t there, and I don’t really frequent the Oregon District all that often. My gut instinct is to run from pain, and I often look for the first way out of it. In this case, I could just ignore it. Deal with it. Move on. Why wallow when I don’t have to?

But sometimes the best thing to do around a tragedy like this is to just lean in. Lean into the grief and the pain. Let it be UNFAIR, let it be UGLY, let it be SAD.

Thirdly– I have really struggled with the immediate outcry to DO SOMETHING. This is not because I don’t think that something should be done. If something can be done to stop mass shootings, should we do it? Absolutely. But the urgency and the attention that has flipped to the politics of DOING SOMETHING has in some senses taken away from the grief and sorrow of those families who have lost loved ones. Don’t get me wrong- I believe that those families will soon join in the cause to prevent further mass shootings, chanting DO SOMETHING in their own voices. But for a few days, a week…we just need to be able to grieve. We just need to be able to sit in the pain and the hurt and the wrongness of it. Honestly, it hurt me, to see friends posting about the shooting on social media. I saw friends encouraging us to call our senator, when that same friend hadn’t even bothered to pick up the phone to text me and ask if Theo had been working or if he was ok.

Remember, I’m not against reform and opinions and a change in policies. What I am against is politics > people. What hurts is seeing people care so so so much about policies and reform that they forget to stop and check in on their people who were directly affected by this. Obviously, I could get long-winded about how this applies to so many other areas of life. Being pro-life but not helping the young pregnant teen or the mentally ill older neighbor. Calling for release of children at the border but not being willing to take in one of those children or the thousands of others who sit in our own foster care system. Being passionate about changing the world but struggling to be patient with my own children. Listen, this isn’t just about where everyone else has gotten it wrong, this is also about a wake-up call to me.

What am I really doing to help? What does this look like when I apply it to my daily life? Have a prayed about it or read God’s word about it as much as I’ve read news articles about it? Have I reached out to friends lately, even those who weren’t affected by a mass shooting? Have I texted someone just to check in and see how they are doing? Have I talked in real life to someone as much as I’ve posted on IG stories lately?

These are some of my thoughts after Sunday’s events. I love having this space to process, and I appreciate you taking the time to stop in and read my thoughts. and I hope that you, too are able to think through and process the things that are happening in today’s world.

Remember- I’m always just one message away from any questions or comments you may have. If you are struggling with something that has happened, or something that has been said, or something that I have said– I would so appreciate you reaching out to me and discussing all this further.

In closing, I just wanted to include the words of Ps 46:

God is our refuge and strength,
A Very present help in time of trouble
Therefore we will not fear though the earth give way,
Though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea,
Though its waters roar and foam,
Though the mountains tremble at its swelling.

Be still and know that I am God.
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth!
The Lord of hosts is with us;
The God of Jacob is our fortress.