I recently came across a list of questions put out by Laura Tremaine on her 10 Things to Tell You Podcast. I haven’t actually listened to that podcast episode, but these questions really hit me. As soon as I read the questions, I felt seen. I felt like these were the questions that I needed to start to process the year we have been through. I have mentioned many times that I have been stuck in a total blogging/writers block rut, and just have no idea what to even begin to write about anymore. Well, seeing these questions lit a little spark in me and I decided to do a mini blog series answering these 10 questions, two per post.
Here are the 10 questions, as written by Laura Tremaine on the 10 Things to Tell You Podcast
- What was life like in early 2020?
- What was the biggest change?
- What were your coping mechanisms?
- What did connection in your relationships look like?
- What will you remember most?
- What was the biggest challenge?
- What was a beautiful memory?
- What do you believe now that you didn’t believe one year ago?
- What would you do differently?
- What will you carry forward?
- What was life like in early 2020?
This question makes me chuckle. We had just been through it in 2019. We had started the year with a child in the hospital, then my Grandma passed away. We followed that by a big move out of our house and our vehicle breaking down. We struggled through a deep friendship struggle and we learned that our neighbor was extremely dangerous. We had a child start school and I started back to work. Theo shredded his hamstring and had weeks of pain and recovery. We had to move back into our house to get away from our dangerous neighbor. We had at least 3 showings a day on the house we were living in, and then our house finally sold. At the end of January 2020. So we were hobbling across the finish line of 2019 and I had nothing but high hopes for 2020. And, indeed, February 2020 proved to be the first month of calm we had had in over 13 months. We settled into our new rental property. I was offered a job to teach 1st grade starting in the fall of 2020. I really, seriously, thought that 2020 would be the calm after the storm.
(Insert laughing crying emoji here)
I think that this is one reason that 2020 seriously threw me off kilter. Because I was already so tired and worn, so stressed and in desperate need of refreshment. We didn’t feel strong or encouraged like we were standing on a firm foundation at the beginning of 2020. We felt like we were just emerging from an entire year of one difficult blow after another, shaking and cracked at the foundation of our souls.
2. What was the biggest change?
On March 12, 2020, our governor shut down the state for “an extended spring break”. It was a Thursday. He allowed everyone to go to work/school on Friday to get all necessary and important things collected and sent home and to say goodbye to their friends for a few weeks (ha!). Our school does not have school on Friday. So they left school at 2:30 on Thursday afternoon, the shut down happened at 5pm and our kids never went back to school again….for the whole year.
Everything changed. And yet….not that much changed. We didn’t have any major schedules changes or need to change our home into an office. We didn’t need to cancel any travel or vacation plans. We didn’t lose jobs or livelihoods.
Tera was home from school. I taught two classes that switched to an online/remote format. But, mostly, I was already a stay at home Mom and the boys were already home with me 24/7.
Theo continued to work as “normal” outside the home.
I think the biggest change for me was mental. I almost immediately shifted into bearing the heaviness and the grief of the world. I was crippled with anxiety. I was bitter and jealous of everyone who got to stay home, while my husband went out and still continued to work. I wanted to scream anytime someone said “just enjoy this forced time together”. What time together? He worked 40-50 hours a week outside the home, while I stayed inside with the kids- nowhere to go. We talked about Theo sleeping in the garage or getting an RV or hotel room to live in until the worst of covid passed through. We talked about what we would do when he inevitably got it at work. I checked our temperatures constantly. We loaded up on Vit C and elderberry and I learned that chewing garlic cloves could help with antibodies, so I stunk like garlic for a solid 6 weeks (haha!). I cried- a lot. I started taking more with my Grandpa and my Mom. My Mom video called me everyday for several weeks. Spring started to spring forth, and it was painful. People look at me weird when I say that, but it was. It was like moment a child in a classroom or nursery sees their Mom or Dad for the first time- they burst into tears at the utter relief and comfort. I felt that way about Spring. We observed every bud and bird and change in our backyard.
Pt 2 coming soon!