Here Comes Baby #4

I just can’t even think of a creative title for this blog post, and since the cat is out of the bag….here it is! We are expecting baby #4!

This was our social media announcement:

Yes, all three of our kiddos are currently out of diapers! So it really feels like we are starting over. We haven’t taken a stroller anywhere in a long time, I don’t even carry a diaper bag anymore and here we are…going back to the beginning again!

So, I know what you are thinking….the baby must have been a surprise, huh?

Actually, it wasn’t. I’m going to tell you a little bit of the story behind how this came to be. No, not those details. Weird. I mean the story behind how two somewhat functional parents who have made it through the hardest baby/toddler years can willingly choose to start over again. We were just starting to grasp what this so called “freedom” is- a little bit of sleep and having three kids who can buckle themselves in the car and take themselves to the bathroom.

Well, the truth is…I have felt God whispering to my heart for a long time that I needed to have faith and have another child. Theo felt much the same way. We both absolutely knew that our family was not complete.

As you all know, the past 2-3 years have been tough on a lot of people, our family included. 2019 was one of the hardest years we have walked as a family. And then we all know about 2020 and 2021. All through those years, I carried this burden in my heart that I knew the Lord was asking me to obey and grow our family…but to be honest, I did NOT WANT TO. I was terrified. Mostly, I didn’t think I could survive another pregnancy with extreme morning sickness. Especially now that I had a job that meant I couldn’t just lie down and be miserable.

I even told a couple friends that I felt like Jonah. I knew what God was asking me to do, and I knew it was going to be hard. So I ran away. I didn’t wanna, ok?

As you can imagine, running from God causes a lot of unnecessary pain and darkness. On top of all the other junk going on in the world and in life in the past few years.

Theo has been gung-ho about having another baby for several years now- he wants our kids closer together and likes the idea of being a young Dad when the kids are young. Of course- there is nothing wrong with building your family a different way- this is just what he (we) prefers! And, yes, I do know that God can still have plans outside of our own. That is a conversation for another time and another day. But he also knows that I bear the brunt of the hardship of having another child. I tell people all the kids- it’s not having another or more kids that bothers me, it’s the pregnancy that is SO HARD for me.

Anyways, I finally decided to step out in faith and say yes to the Lord- and here we are. I feel humbled and incredibly blessed that the Lord has seen fit to give us another life to raise. I also wonder what His plans are for this little one. Because I know they won’t be mediocre. No, He’s got BIG plans.

This pregnancy has not been easy. In fact, just the opposite. I’ve been more sick this time than ever before. I’ve struggled to feel connected to this baby when I feel like it’s just an act of obedience. Like when you tell your kid to clean their room, and they do- but there is some stomping and eye rolling involved. Unfortunately, that has been my attitude and I have had to continually repent of that. At first, I was not above bargaining with the Lord to give me an easy pregnancy if I obeyed and followed him- but, friends- God is not a vending machine God. And somehow he knows what is best for me and my family- and extreme all-day morning sickness is somehow a part of that of that plan.

So- that is the long-story-short (or maybe it’s short-story-long?). We ARE so excited and even though it feels really hard right now and like we are starting all over again, we are so thankful for the support and love and help that we have received over the last few weeks!

And now for some FAQs!

How far along are you?

I am 12 weeks this week! I am due mid-march.

How have you been feeling?

Absolutely terrible! I’ve mostly been bed-ridden and have lost a couple pounds, but I *think* I am starting to turn a corner. Hopefully. I at least have a little more energy than I did the first 11 weeks, even if the nausea is still overwhelming.

Are the kids excited?

YES! They are so excited! Although, I think they are a little overwhelmed by the concept of 7 more months until they actually have a baby brother/sister. Since I don’t look very pregnant yet, they aren’t sure what to do with the information that there is a baby, but they can’t see it. Ha. I think they will be THRILLED in March when the baby arrives.

Are you going to find out the gender?

Yes, we typically do at our 20 week ultrasound. I’m sure we will do something creative to announce it. We are hoping for a little sister for Tera, but will be thrilled either way.

Are you still teaching this year?

Yep! And my plan is to teach right up until my due date. My due date also happens to be the end of 3rd quarter, so it would be perfect if I can make it all the way. I know those things can be unpredictable, but heres to hoping! This is also my first time being pregnant and having a job, so I have been struggling a little bit with how to navigate that balance. I want to give my best to my students, but I also want to care for an honor this life that is growing inside of me.

Any cravings or aversions?

The aversions have been bad for me! Even water leaves this terrible taste in my mouth that makes me feel like gagging. The only thing that sound remotely good to me is my African ramen noodles. I have basically subsisted on packs of them throughout the first trimester. Lord, bless this baby who has consumed about 300% of their daily sodium intake. Whoops.

How are you managing the homestead?

Theo has done an amazing job of being a rockstar parent, husband, farmer and full time police officer in the past three months. I honestly don’t know how he has been managing it all, and I do know that he absolutely exhausted. But I haven’t heard him complain even once. And if you come over to our homestead, you will see that we really haven’t been managing much. Theo is working his tail off to keep the priority tasks running- feeding and keeping the animals and mowing the backyard. But the rest will just have to wait until next year.

I think that about covers most of the questions that I have received! If you have other questions, feel free to drop them in the comments and I will try to get to them. I had grand intentions of documenting this pregnancy, but at 12 weeks along I have taken maybe 3 pictures? Whoops! Hopefully with a little more energy and feeling a little better, I can get into a better routine of documenting thing and blogging (if only for my own sake and the sake of the 4th child who already has less documentation than all the others combined lol).

Phew! If you made it through that whole post- congrats! Thank you as always for reading along and being so helpful and supportive to me.