This month, I read 6 books…and for the first time in my life I was just flying through nonfiction reads. I read 4 NF titles and only 2 fiction books!
Counting the Cost
Synopsis: Jill and Derick knew a normal life wasn’t possible for them. As a star on the popular TLC reality show 19 Kids and Counting, Jill grew up in front of viewers who were fascinated by her family’s way of life. She was the responsible, second daughter of Jim Bob and Michelle’s nineteen kids; always with a baby on her hip and happy to wear the modest ankle-length dresses with throat-high necklines. She didn’t protest the strict model of patriarchy that her family followed, which declares that men are superior, that women are expected to be wives and mothers and are discouraged from attaining a higher education, and that parental authority over their children continues well into adulthood, even once they are married.
But as Jill got older, married Derick, and they embarked on their own lives, the red flags became too obvious to ignore.
For as long as they could, Jill and Derick tried to be obedient family members—they weren’t willing to rock the boat. But now they’re raising a family of their own, and they’re done with the secrets. Thanks to time, tears, therapy, and blessings from God, they have the strength to share their journey. Theirs is a remarkable story of the power of the truth and is a moving example of how to find healing through honesty.
My Review: I enjoyed reading this book, and found it be very juicy. I never really followed the Duggars, but I do think that I watched an episode here or there growing up, and I certainly knew who they were. I was also raised in a conservative Christian home, but it was nothing like the way the Duggar family was raised. Of course, in recent years, the family has come under a lot of scrutiny and some very bad things have been exposed in the media. Of course, I was a bit skeptical, because we all know that the media love to have a heyday over anything that is conservative Christian. But hearing it from Jill’s perspective really brought it home- the way that she was raised was hurtful and damaging, and the Duggars (especially Dad Duggar) became power hungry and lost the heart of how they were intending to raise their kids.
I did have a couple issues with the book- first, I think that Jill will regret writing and publishing this memoir, because I am sure that it has splintered any relationship that she had left with her parents. This is not a defense of the Duggar parents, but I do wince a little thinking about how it’s a low blow to publish a tell-all, and I read it as entertainment. I think of Beth Moore’s memoir and how she literally said in her foreward that she had to wait for some members of her family to die before she could publish her memoir, in order to not destroy or slander them – even though they had done some pretty awful, awful stuff.
Second- I strongly disliked Jill’s reflections about being missionaries. She seemed to simplify it down to one or two sentences, and made it sound just like they were living in a different country. It didn’t sound like they were doing much to serve the people, especially when their fame brought some extra messes with them. I think this topic could have probably been an entire different book, and I’m sure that Jill and her publisher chose to over simplify this issue for the book, but as a missionary kid I was particularly sensitive to this part of the book.
So, overall- I would recommend the book if you have at all followed the Duggar family and want to continue to follow their journey. I also recommend this book if you watched “Shiny Happy People” documentary, and wanted a little more insight into some of the situations mentioned. Just also remember that there could be some triggering stuff here if you were raised in a similar environment.
Screaming on the Inside: The Unsustainability of American Motherhood
Synopsis: Close your eyes and picture the perfect mother. She is usually blonde and thin. Her roots are never showing and she installed that gleaming kitchen backsplash herself (watch her TikTok for DIY tips). She seamlessly melds work, wellness and home; and during the depths of the pandemic, she also ran remote school and woke up at 5 a.m. to meditate. You may read this and think it’s bananas; you have probably internalized much of it. Journalist Jessica Grose sure had. After she failed to meet every one of her own expectations for her first pregnancy, she devoted her career to revealing how morally bankrupt so many of these ideas and pressures are. Now, in Screaming on the Inside, Grose weaves together her personal journey with scientific, historical, and contemporary reporting to be the voice for American parents she wishes she’d had a decade ago.
The truth is that parenting cannot follow a recipe; there’s no foolproof set of rules that will result in a perfectly adjusted child. Every parent has different values, and we will have different ideas about how to pass those values along to our children. What successful parenting has in common, regardless of culture or community, is close observation of the kind of unique humans our children are. In thoughtful and revelatory chapters about pregnancy, identity, work, social media, and the crisis of the Covid-19 pandemic, Grose explains how we got to this moment, why the current state of expectations on mothers is wholly unsustainable, and how we can move towards something better.
My Review: I was so engaged and invested in the first 60% of this book- nodding my head along with her descriptions of motherhood and what seems to be expected of us as American mothers. I was hoping that the last portion of the book would really round out the problems with some solutions or ideas to implement as maxed out mothers. Instead, she dissolved into several chapters complaining about the pandemic, race issues and a lot of political commentary that I just felt like had nothing to do with the topic of the book. GAH. I wish she had been able to land the plane, but this one was a smooth flight with a crash landing for me.
The Accidental Homesteader
Synopsis: Kathi shares the hard-won wisdom she’s gained on her homestead journey to help you accomplish more at home, gain fresh perspective, and give yourself grace in the process. Here’s a handful of the lessons Kathi shares:
- Prepare before the need arises
- Everything is always in process, including us
- Your best household solution is time and patience
- You don’t have to do everything the hard way
- Be open to new and better ways of doing things
- A lot of small changes make a huge difference.
Highly practical, humorous, and inspirational, The Accidental Homesteader will encourage you to live with more peace, joy, and contentment.
My Review: Cute! I enjoyed reading through this so much! It was a quick 24 hour read for me. I found much of it relatable, and I got some tips from the author to implement on my own homestead. I am not in the same stage of life, but I didn’t feel like I had to live up to her same standards so that was a relief! This is a fun read for anyone who has a homestead or wants to have a homestead.
Life in Five Senses: How Exploring the Senses Got Me Out of My Head and Into the World
Synopsis: n this journey of self-experimentation, Rubin explores the mysteries and joys of the five senses as a path to a happier, more mindful life. Drawing on cutting-edge science, philosophy, literature, and her own efforts to practice what she learns, she investigates the profound power of tuning in to the physical world.
My Review: I liked this topic and I enjoyed thinking about how to tune into my own world using my five senses. My only complaint with this book was that I found her life so different from mine that I was struggling to find most of her stories relatable. I cannot even fathom having time every day for a leisurely walk, let alone going to a museum every single day. Our seasons are just very different. The only thing I would have loved for this book to add was examples and ideas for people in different seasons to also be able to use their (our) five senses to understand our world. Otherwise, it was a good book! Recommend if you want to read something that gives you a little spark to think more creatively, but I didn’t find it life-changing.
The Sweet Spot
Synopsis: In the heart of Greenwich Village, three women form an accidental sorority when a baby—belonging to exactly none of them—lands on their collective doorstep. Lauren and her family—lucky bastards—have been granted the use of a spectacular brownstone, teeming with history and dizzyingly unattractive 70s wallpaper. Adding to the home’s bohemian, grungy splendor is the bar occupying the basement, a (mostly) beloved dive called The Sweet Spot. Within days of moving in, Lauren discovers that she has already made an enemy in the neighborhood by inadvertently sparking the divorce of a couple she has never actually met. Melinda’s husband of thirty years has dumped her for a young celebrity entrepreneur named Felicity, and, to Melinda’s horror, the lovebirds are soon to become parents. In her incandescent rage, Melinda wreaks havoc wherever she can, including in Felicity’s Soho boutique, where she has a fit of epic proportions, which happens to be caught on film. Olivia—the industrious twenty-something behind the counter, who has big dreams and bigger debt—gets caught in the crossfire. In an effort to diffuse Melinda’s temper, Olivia has a tantrum of her own and gets unceremoniously canned, thanks to TikTok. When Melinda’s ex follows his lover across the country, leaving their squalling baby behind, the three women rise to the occasion in order to forgive, to forget, to Ferberize, and to track down the wayward parents. But can their little village find a way toward the happily ever afters they all desire? Welcome to The Sweet Spot.
My Review: I adored this book! I loved the characters and how they were ALL oddballs, but somehow managed to come together to make life work. I also loved how the family was portrayed in this book, especially the children. I find it rare to read a book that the kids are accurately portrayed age appropriately, but as I was reading this one I kept thinking about how much they reminded me of my own kids. This was a sweet rom-com but the focus was more on friendship than romance. It was closed door and I would feel comfortable recommending this one to almost anyone! My only problem with it was that the synopsis seems to focus on the baby being left with these women, but that doesn’t happen until like 50-60% of the way through the book. I kept thinking “but where is the baby?”. If I hadn’t read the synopsis first, I wouldn’t have have even realized that I was missing something because I was enjoying it so much, but because I knew that plot point I kept feeling like I was missing it.
Symphony of Secrets
Synopsis: Bern Hendricks has just received the call of a lifetime. As one of the world’s preeminent experts on the famed twentieth-century composer Frederick Delaney, Bern knows everything there is to know about the man behind the music. When Mallory Roberts, a board member of the distinguished Delaney Foundation and direct descendant of the man himself, asks for Bern’s help authenticating a newly discovered piece, which may be his famous lost opera, RED, he jumps at the chance. With the help of his tech-savvy acquaintance Eboni, Bern soon discovers that the truth is far more complicated than history would have them believe.
In 1920s Manhattan, Josephine Reed is living on the streets and frequenting jazz clubs when she meets the struggling musician Fred Delaney. But where young Delaney struggles, Josephine soars. She’s a natural prodigy who hears beautiful music in the sounds of the world around her. With Josephine as his silent partner, Delaney’s career takes off—but who is the real genius here?
In the present day, Bern and Eboni begin to uncover more clues that indicate Delaney may have had help in composing his most successful work. Armed with more questions than answers and caught in the crosshairs of a powerful organization who will stop at nothing to keep their secret hidden, Bern and Eboni will move heaven and earth in their dogged quest to right history’s wrongs.
My Review: Oh, I wanted to like this book so badly! I loved the plot idea and wished that it had worked for me, but unfortunately, it did not. First, this book was SO LONG…like, 500 pages. And I had figured out the “mystery” by page 100 so I ended up doing some skimming between 250-400 pages. Another issue that I really struggled with was how racism was portrayed in the story. Anyone who was Black was a flat character that was represented as a “good guy” and did no wrong. Anyone who was White was a flat character who was a “bad guy” and did everything wrong/was darkly evil. There is so much to unpack here- because the point of the book is that marginalized people were so often taken advantage of by white people. So I think it’s a fair plot point and truly carried the book! But I think that Slocum could have made this more subtle to fit in with the fictional story, but for me I felt like I was being beaten over the head with it. There was also one scene with the police that made me want to throw this book against the wall. Not because it has never happened before, but because it just made me mad how inaccurately it portrayed *most* interactions with the police. It’s a really touchy subject for me, and so while I think most people wouldn’t think twice about it, it was really triggering for me and it knocked down my rating of this book.
SO…overall, this was a good book! Great plot, and it made me think a lot. Which is probably the whole point. But overall it didn’t settle well with me and I would struggle to recommend this to everyone.
And that is a wrap on October books! Next up I am reading Bully Market and Demon Copperhead.