At the end of December, I signed up for a half marathon- The Flying Pig! This will be my second time doing the Flying Pig, and my 6th half marathon (plus a full marathon, but we don’t talk about that haha- I hated it so much). Back in December, I enthusiastically made a “call to action” Facebook post – something along the lines of “if you’ve been thinking of running a race, you should TOTALLY do it! It’s great! It’s hard! It’s so rewarding!” And a couple people actually took me up on it, and said that my encouragement spurred them on to sign up for their own race! Yay!
I embarked on a training plan and wrote down all the mileage that I needed to cover each week from January until the beginning of May. I even planned out strength training days and of course, rest days.
It is now April and I have just 4 weeks until my half.
Honestly, my training hasn’t been going well. I can’t figure out if I’m making excuses, or if it really has been one thing after another. It was a long, cold winter and it’s been a wet, cold spring. I’ve struggled to get my runs in…but that isn’t a new struggle for me, and I’ve always managed to somehow do it, so I can’t wrap my head around why it’s suddenly *more* of a struggle.
Honestly, my biggest hurdle in this training is that my pace has been so slow! I can’t seem to problem solve why. My training hasn’t changed, my nutrition hasn’t changed, my body is just a few months older than the last time I trained for and ran a half, so surely that’s not a huge factor? Whereas before I had to push myself, but I could hit my goals- now I push myself and I’m not even close to my goal pace!
I debated for a few weeks just cancelling my race and not doing it at all, but I’ve decided I’m going to still do it. Now I just need to mentally let go of that time goal that I was hoping for, and just be happy with a completed half marathon.
It’s been a little bit of a humbling life lesson for me these past few months. As someone who typically works hard and as a result is a high achiever, it is a challenge to be in a position where I am working very hard, but am not achieving what I thought I would. My temptation is to just give up. If I can’t excel at it, why attempt it at all?
Wrestling through the answer to that question has led to me remember that sometimes it’s the process. Sometimes it’s because we all need an example of someone who can’t do it all. Sometimes we need to see the mess and the stress and un-success of our peers so that we know we aren’t alone in some of the struggles and situations of life.
I think what I’m really learning through this process is not that if I work hard, I can do anything I set my mind to. It’s that if I work hard, I will grow in the process. I am certainly growing mentally, physically and emotionally as I lace up my shoes each day for training.
I guess I’m just sharing this here to share- I’m really struggling with my half marathon training. I have doubts I can do it at all. I know for sure I won’t hit my time goal, and I’m kind of grieving that a little bit. I also want to share this update in case it encourages you. In this internet world, there are soooo many people hitting some amazing goals. There are so many people who are achieving everything they seem to set their minds to- maybe with a lot of work, or a little bit of work! And sometimes it can feel like I am trying so hard but sputtering and failing as I limp across the finish line (figuratively and literally, haha). But sometimes it’s less about the finish time (or the finish line) and more about putting one step in front of the other day after day. Sometimes this is just life. We work really hard and sometimes it doesn’t show on the outside! But maybe the work it’s doing on the inside is what really matters most. <3
I know there are ways to improve speed- I think basically doing short bursts of speed work that will somehow transform into faster speeds for longer distances? Age definitely impacts running times but you are not of an age where your body starts to naturally slow down. I’ve only run marathons. I ran three sub four hour marathons but they were all before having kids. Once I had kids, I could not seem to break that though I tried. One time, however, probably twelve or so years after my first marathon, I beat the time of my first marathon (which was just over four hours). It felt so good to improve from when I was younger. But mostly my times got worse!! So… I guess, anything is possible! Just keep one foot in front of the other and know you’re doing something good for your body. That is how I’d try to look at it, honestly!