Heart to Heart

Here we are- March 19 (Theo’s 35th birthday!). I’ve got a huge backlog of blog posts that I have missed- a family reunion recap, a trip to GA recap, a book review post, all of the link-ups that I have written on my calendar that I completely missed.

I’ve sat down several times over the last couple days (we are on Spring Break right now) to write some of these posts, but the words/motivation just haven’t come. I’m not really in the mood to write some nice little recap posts. I miss the days when I could sit down and just write out what was on my heart without the fear of overstepping on any relationships or hurting any feelings or being judged for complaining about things.

So, let’s say you and I, dear reader, are sitting down in a cozy coffee shop and just having a little heart to heart chat. The kind where we really look at each other and say “how are you REALLY doing?”. To be honest, I can’t remember the last time someone asked me this question, and as somone who processes out loud/relationally, it feels like I have a lot bottled up inside that I need to chat about.

• I would probably talk about how discouraged I am that Ori still isn’t really potty trained. We started this process back in AUGUST…and he made such great process that we committed to it, and then it has turned into months of cleaning up messes and not getting anywhere. I’m not frustrated with him, but I am discouraged. It doesn’t matter how many times I’ve potty trained a child, this is not for the faint of heart
• I would chat about how Theo has been in his new job role for almost one year. It was around this time last year that we were anticipating him potentially getting the job. We were so excited for many things, and while we are so glad that Theo took the job and is in this role, it has been TOUGH. Like, the absolute hardest year of our life. Relationships have shifted as a result of this, and I think both Theo and I have wished we had more support as we struggled through all the newness and challenges.
• I would talk about how both of our vehicles died and now we need to replace one of them. I’m honestly not sure how we will afford it.
• I would talk about how the Lord has nudged me to take a year off work and stay home as the primary support role, but that terrifies me for many reasons…and now I’m pretty sure that financially, its not possible. It’s hard to discern if the Lord is nudging me to do this even though it seems like it doesn’t make sense on paper, or if this is something that was on my heart and the Lord is firmly closing the door on it by reminding me that we actually need my income to get by.
• I would talk about how beautiful the weather is and how excited I am for Spring. It’s seriously like I bloom right along with the flowers and suddenly have new bursts of energy
• I would talk about my half marathon training and how I’m really hoping for a sub 2 hour half, and how excited I am that I’ve been able to maintain my training schedule this week and gotten several outdoor runs in lately
• I would chat about how I spent a significant amount of time during spring break just cleaning and purging each room of the house. I only have one room left to work on, plus the game closet. I am also proud of myself because while some rooms were atrocious and I needed to truly go through every item in the room, some rooms/areas were actually fairly well maintained. I’m neither a minimalist or a maximalist, but I feel SO happy to have gotten rid of all the things that we just don’t use anymore.

What would you add to the conversation?

How are you REALLY doing?

What is something that you wish you could publicly write/talk about, but you know that someone would read it and become offended, or the issue involves someone else who wouldn’t prefer to have their stuff on the internet?

Now that I’ve written this all out, I’m feeling much better…and I’m wishing that I had written each of these things as a separate blog post. There is enough information in each of those bullet points that I’m sure I could write a whole blog post! Or what other blog posts would you like to read from me? I’m needing a little inspiration here, in case you can’t tell!

Well, I’m off to make some birthday pizza for dinner- followed by brownies and ice cream! Will we eat dinner outside tonight? I think we will! It’s 60 and sunny and that calls for a celebration!