Ok, maybe I’m being a little bit dramatic?
But it feels like I reached 35 and suddenly I’m feeling like a whole different person. Not a NEW person- just a different person. My kids are getting a bit older, things are getting a little bit busier and I’ve stepped away from my job for a sabbatical. It doesn’t feel like a full-on crisis, but it feels like a little bit of one, you know? But maybe a good crisis- what is the opposite of a crisis? A quarter life stable?
The thing is- lots of my life feels like it has flipped upside down- and so much of it is good! I am staying home this year, and while I have no problems staying busy, it also feels….strange. I have always been all things to all people, and suddenly I have boundaries around me. I feel guilty that I’m staying home when so many Moms I know are working and raising kids. I feel over-privelaged that I don’t have to work and that our family can be supported on one income, even though it is a stretch. It’s always intimidating doing something different, you know?
Anyways- while I blindly try to figure out if I’m in crisis or if I’m actually becoming more stable, I am pursuing some things that are new to me! I know I talked about getting my doula certification, and I originally thought that wouldn’t really go anywhere. I would just help my friends who are are having babies and call it a day. But my friends have started asking how they can recommend me to potential clients, and I have no website, no social media presence, no easy way for someone to figure out if I’m the right doula for them. My friend Jamie happens to do this type of thing for a job- she is part business coach, part website builder, part photographer- basically she is a business doula! So she has gently come alongside me and encouraged me to set this thing up so that it’s officially official. She also did a lovely photoshoot for me so that we can use some of the images for branding and content.
Jamie was amazing to work with- she made me feel so comfortable and confident. The golden light was spectacular and even though it felt weird to take so many solo photos, we laughed and joked the whole way through.
Jamie had a fabulous turn around time and had sent me some of the gallery just a few days later. I opened up the pictures and didn’t know what to think! The pictures were gorgeous- but is this ME? I don’t recognize this person. Not because I don’t like the person I see, but because the person I see in the pictures isn’t exactly the same person I picture in my mind. I’ve always been slim and youthful and energetic, so I think I see myself as much younger. Seeing these pictures was kind of a new reality that I’m now growing older. Don’t get me wrong- I don’t see an old person or someone unnatractive. If this was a stranger, I would probably think ‘beautiful’, ‘youthful’, ‘fun’. But aren’t we our own worst critics? I just don’t see the same person that I once was.
After looking at the pictures, I closed them out and had to think on it for a few days. I just had to come to peace with who I am now am. It wasn’t hard, and it didn’t take me too long, although I think I am still working on it and probably still will be forever as I continually age and change!
Anyways- am I the only one who has ever felt this way? Has anyone else kind of had a mini-quarter-crisis? Just me? Have you ever looked at photos of yourself and felt like you were looking at someone different?
Ok, raw/vulnerable/emotional part of the post is over! Now, let’s look at some of these gorgeous pictures and I’d love some feedback on what pictures to use and also what to call my doula business!
The vibe I am looking for is CALM; STEADY; PEACEFUL; JOYFUL; NO FEAR. Do any of these pictures communicate that to you?
And, now- please help me with a name! Right now my top – and honestly, only – contender is
Steady Presence Doula Services
If anyone else has some creative ideas, I’m more than happy to hear them!
Ok, that was a lot in one post- bareing my heart and soul, sharing some fun pictures, and asking for your help!
Oh- and before I forget- Jamie’s photography business can be found at Jamie Lens Photography
The pictures are beautiful but aren’t maybe the kind I picture when looking at a site for a doula. Of the options, I like the one of you holding your arm by the sunflowers. Then I would recommend you begin to get some candid photos from families who will give you permission to use of you supporting a mom during labor or holding a newborn.
These photos are absolutely fabulous! I honestly don’t think you could go wrong with using just about any of them. How sweet that you have such a wonderful friend with a broad skill set like this to help you get started.
I like the one of you sitting down in the grass the best but they’re all good! You could call it, “Let’s Do( ula) This!” lol! Thirty five is a unique age- kind of in between young adulthood and middle age.
I’m thinking of a verse I memorized in college from Deuteronomy referring to God’s “Everlasting Arms.”