May 26, 2012.
Our wedding day. The day I became Mrs. Hines.
I have thought often about that day ever since it happened. I’ve thought through all the days leading up to it, and every minute of the actual day. What a beautiful day it was. What a perfectly perfect day it was. I always say that I wouldn’t change a thing about my wedding day. But when I actually sit down and think about it, there are a few things that I would change.
Since I have a couple of friends who are getting ready to walk down the aisle soon, I thought I’d write a post about those things I would change about my wedding day…
- I’d stress less
I stressed from the moment I had my ring until the moment we left the reception in our car. Heck, I probably stressed even before I had my ring! I’m a stressor by nature, but I wish I had just sat back and been more chill about the whole ordeal in general.
- I would find someone who could hem my dress!
I love, love, loved my wedding dress. But I ordered it from China and when it came, I was swimming in it. I opted to save money and not get the dress altered, but I wonder how much more I would have loved my dress if it had actually fit perfectly! I ended up having to hold that darn thing up all day/night long, even with four inch heels!
- I would make sure someone took pictures of the guys getting ready!
Granted, I’m sure that the guys slept in and played video games until 10 minutes until go time. But still…I have no pictures of the guys getting ready. Except this one:
The guys had all come over to the girls place for pictures, and they were tying their ties when my photographer snapped this picture. I kid you not, this is the only picture I have of the guys getting ready!
- I’d shed less tears over my bouquet. But I’d also lay my foot down a little bit stronger about what I really wanted, instead of trying to please everyone else.
I said that I wanted sunflowers and blue roses. “No problem”, she said. Until a week before the wedding, when she said that no store sells real sunflowers in May. My Mom, mother in law and I went to a florist and found real sunflowers. But then she was upset that we went and bought the flowers and refused to make the bouquet. But she did make this fake one with fake flowers. She was a friend of the families and was going to be at the wedding, so I felt like I had to carry the one that she had made. There were a lot of tears and a loss of what to do with the real sunflowers that we had now paid for. I ended up carrying the fake bouquet, but I sincerely wish I hadn’t been such a people pleaser and had said I wanted the real thing. I do think this one is beautiful, but it’s just not what I wanted.
- I would thank my bridesmaids much more thoroughly. Being a bridesmaid is HARD WORK!
I had no idea on my wedding day how exhausting being a bridesmaid was. I knew that they were all traveling, paying for their dresses, giving up a whole weekend of their year, helping with all the preparation and set-up and then of course also helping with the tear-down after I had left. Sure, I had to do all those things, too. But the difference is that I got to go to the Dominican Republic. They had to go back to a long drive, jobs and the regular ol life. It’s really emotionally exhausting, and now that I know that, I would thank them so much more.
- I’d hire a videographer
I don’t know WHAT I was thinking not asking anyone to take video of our ceremony. Our ceremony was my absolute favorite part of the day. It was GORGEOUS. And thankfully, I have wonderful pictures and our officiant printed off the entire ceremony, word for word. But it’s just not the same as being able to show my kids a video of Theo and I saying our vows. I really wish I had just asked someone to film the 40 minute ceremony.
- I would remember to take pictures with my extended family, especially my grandparents
The plan was to take all our bridal party pictures before the ceremony. We met several hours before the ceremony and took all our pictures. I loved doing it this way because it left us feeling like we had plenty of time and we weren’t keeping anyone waiting. We then told all the immediate family to be there an hour before the ceremony started, and we took all our pictures with them. We really just wanted to go straight from the ceremony into the reception. And we did just that. COMPLETELY FORGETTING TO TAKE PICTURES WITH EXTENDED FAMILY.
An hour or so into the reception, one of my cousins pulled me aside and asked if we could take a family photo. Then I remembered! But it was too late…my grandparents had already left and I don’t have a single picture with them that day. We snapped this picture of my extended family (both my Dad and my Mom’s side), but we also never got any pictures with Theo’s extended family. I’m super bummed about that.
- I’d be a better host
This one is a kind of a funny story. This picture is not my wedding (obviously), but the wedding of Isaiah (Theo’s brother) and his wife Sarah, my sister in law.
Isaiah was in the wedding and Sarah only knew Isaiah and the Hines, so she got stuck staying with all the wedding party girls. Unfortunately, I did nothing to accommodate her stay. One night she was out semi-late with Isaiah and came back to the house to find that one of the bridesmaids had taken her sleeping bag and all her blankets and was soundly sleeping all wrapped up in them! I, of course, was upstairs in a very nice bedroom just snoozing the night away. Sarah ended up spending the night on the couch without any blankets! Oh me, oh my, I was HORRIFIED when Sarah told me the story (like two years later). I sincerely wish I had been a better host!
- I’d ask my photographer to take picture of us with every guest
I know…this seems outrageous. However, that whole evening went by in such a blur that I have no recollection of who was actually at my wedding. I find myself peering at pictures like this picking out all the people who were there:
I wish I had taken pictures with each guest, or at least each table. It’s also funny to me how some people were invited to my wedding, but I didn’t really know them that well. Now, three years down the road some of them are my best friends and I don’t have ANY pictures from my wedding with them (I’m looking at you, Sarah Hines. And Abby Cline).
- I’d sit down and eat my dinner. And a whole cupcake.
See this picture right here?
That, my friends, is the Only bite of my cake/cupcakes that I got at my wedding. The only one. Those cupcakes were GOOD. I wish I had taken the time to go through the buffet and get myself a plate a food, actually sat down and ate it, and then enjoyed an entire cupcake. Take note, friends who are getting married…this is a common problem for the bride and groom. Make sure it doesn’t happen on your wedding day.
- I’d make sure to hug all my bridesmaids and my family goodbye
I changed my dress, grabbed my husbands hand and ran to our car.
We spent a good ten minutes actually trying to get into the car, and then we were off. 1o miles down the road I realized that I hadn’t said goodbye to anybody. And most of my friends were flying halfway across the country back to wherever their homes were. I was super bummed that I didn’t take the time to say goodbye. I’ve heard of people having small after parties or even brunch the next day, and while that sounds like one more overwhelming thing to add to the schedule, it also sounds like it would be a wonderful way to have a more intimate celebration and goodbye to those who matter the most.
I loved my wedding day. The most important part of the day was that I got to marry this man. I always say that people nowadays put way too much emphasis on the reception, when the ceremony is the most important part of the day. It’s the day and the time that you are committing to spending the rest of your life together, in the good times and the not so great, and the downright bad. I’m so glad that I get to do life with Theo, but I’m also glad that I get to share some of the mistakes I made and the do-overs I would have if I could go back to that beautiful day in May of 2012!