First of all, this is a hard and very heavy post to write. I know it will be equally hard for you to read, and it might even bring up a lot more questions than answers.
Second, if you are hearing this from this blog post for the first time, and you feel like you should have heard it in person…I apologize. Honestly, I have tried to text/call/talk to as many people in person as I possibly can, but it’s very hard for me to tell the story over and over again, so I have finally decided to write it out.
I also want you to know that even if you don’t know our family in person, this news may come as a shock to you who read this blog and feel like an extra member of our family. It may seem like an abrupt (and unfair) decision from the outside, but please bear with us and understand that this was a decision that was not taken lightly at all.
389 days.
That’s how many days Heavenly lived in our home.
It’s also approximately how many days it has taken me to experience something commonly known as burnout. It can also be known as compassion fatigue or secondary trauma. I had never heard of it until I realized that I had it- bad. Even before realizing this, Theo and I spent months talking and praying about decisions that might need to be made for our family.
On the 389th day of being our foster daughter, Heavenly moved out of our home.
The truth of the matter is that I want to write a long, drawn-out post that explains in great detail why we decided to make this decision. I want to explain myself and point fingers in blame and justify why this decision is ok.
But I’m not going to do that, because that is all stuff that I need to process on my own.
The main points are the important ones, and those are the ones that I will share here.
Heavenly is no longer placed with us.
This was a decision that Theo and I had to make ourselves (not as a result of agency tyranny or pre-teen behaviour), and is by far the hardest decision we have ever had to make.
Heavenly is in a home that we personally approved of, and that she also loves. We will continue to have contact with her.
We are all grieving in big ways.
In the last week since this has all happened, I have never felt more at peace and I know that while it was the hardest decision we have ever made, it was also the right one- for all parties involved.
My heart says grieve, but my mind says that logically I don’t have any right to do that.
We covet your prayers for all parties involved in this transition during this time.
Once again, I always appreciate all of you who follow along here and have been friends to me throughout my entire journey of motherhood (both bio and foster). We will continue to keep you updated as we go through this process. We have chosen to disrupt this placement, but there is a lot of life and ministry ahead of us to continue to live. We appreciate so much your love and prayers during this time.
O Suz, I know you, so I know that this was a tremendously difficult decision for you. Please be assured of our love and admiration for you and Theo. We have no doubt thatthe time she spent in your home was not wasted. May she believe the truth she was taught in your home. Much love to you and your precious family.
Praying for all of you, Suzanne!
Love you friend…praying alongside you as you walk through this journey.
I can’t imagine how hard that must have been to do. Praying for all of you ❤️
There are so many facets of foster care that the general public will never know. God sees every detail, and you can rest in His love. Prayers because I have been there too.
What Janice said. I second it! We fully understand and support your decision.