No Media January

Back in December, Theo and I were feeling extremely weary. Every day, we would successfully get through the day and sit down and crash for the night. This “crashing” always involved watching a show (something cop related, ha!) and often ALSO being on our respective phones. I know it’s not pretty. But I bet we aren’t the only ones whose evenings look like this.

Honestly, it wasn’t helping with the overwhelm or the stress. It served to help us relax IN THE MOMENT but was just creating a cycle of numbing the stress and overwhelm instead of dealing with it.

I think we all know it’s a good idea to put down the phones, but I also think we all know how hard it is to do just that. It’s not the easy way out, that is for sure! But one evening, Theo and I just had a good conversation and we agreed together that we wanted to take a month off of media and most technology. While we knew it would be hard, we also knew it would be worth it.

So here we are on January 15th, and I wanted to keep a little record/journal of how it’s going.

First, we have not been perfect in this. After we set the intention to have a media free January, we had a very stressful intro into the year. A close family member was suddenly hospitalized and Theo took an out of town day trip to be with them, so I scratched the first day of January and indulged in my social media feed. I have been on Facebook, Theo has been on YouTube. I’ve obviously been working on writing on the blog. On January 3rd, Ezra was admitted to the hospital and I once again broke the “no media” rule to be connected on social media. However, we have cut out all TV show watching and for the most part, I’ve cut out social media.

1. Phones and screens are addictive. I feel like I don’t have to say much more than that. The first few days of January, I picked up my phone just to click on the home screen and swipe through the apps MANY times. Just out of habit. When I come to stop at a stoplight, I glance at my phone. I’m not even a very popular or in-demand person and I feel the need to be constantly connected to my phone. If you have an iPhone, there is an incredibly handy (and convicting) screen time feature that tells you how much time you spend daily on your phone, what apps you spend time on, how often you click on your phone and what apps you use most. You can also set a feature that turns off certain apps during certain times of the day. During this month, I have chosen to just delete all the social media apps from my phone.
2. Phones and screens are not all bad. I feel like I’m not saying anything new here, but our phones are also incredible tools. Not only do I use my phone to communicate with my husband, my family, and my friends, but I also use it for a GPS, for looking up a recipe, for listening to an encouraging podcast and for taking sweet pictures of my kids. I wish that I could snap my fingers and achieve a perfect balance of using my phone as a tool without it being a hindrance or an addiction.
3. It gets lonely. Being a stay at home Mom can get really lonely. I struggle many days with feeling like I don’t know or see any other adults who can speak in full sentences. One way I’ve coped with that over the years is by building a strong online community. Getting DMs on Instagram is such an encouragement to me because I feel like I’m connected to other people out there. And honestly, I know that online connections cannot replace real-life connections. But there is something about the community that I’m apart of on Instagram that truly does encourage me and give me a reprieve from the loneliness. I really miss my people!
4. I have a lot of junk to deal with. Cutting out media has meant a lot more sitting with my thoughts. Truthfully, this has been the HARDEST part. I’ve had more thinking time and therefore more difficult thoughts than I would normally have. Normally, I spend the evenings scrolling through Instagram stories or watching a show with Theo. I’m not really self-reflecting or dealing with anything difficult. Cutting out media has meant that I now spend a lot of evenings doing just the opposite- thinking and reflecting. I’ve filled up pages and pages in my journal. I’ve found new worship songs I have never heard before. I’ve cried a lot more tears than I would usually cry. It’s extremely difficult, but I’m so glad I’m dealing with all of this now, instead of just letting another month go by where it is all repressed. And please remember: this doesn’t mean that I’m now suddenly in the depths of great joy and contentment. Quite the opposite, in fact! I feel like I’m in the depths of finding all the junk within me, and it’s not fun dealing with it! I would much rather be scrolling IG stories, but I know that in the long run, this hard work will pay off.
5. We own a lot of games, have a lot of great conversations, and can read a lot of books! I had forgotten how to play some of the games that we own. I had forgotten how good it can be to look into Theo’s eyes and listen to him. I had forgotten how hard it is to have some conversations. I had also not realized how many books I can read in one week when I don’t have anything else to do in my downtime!
6. The world still turns without me. Last time I checked my IG profile, I had lost over 10 followers this month. My inbox was empty. Turns out people don’t miss me as much as I miss them. While this can be a hard hit to my ego, it is also such a good thing to remember. The online world keeps right on turning without me. It helps me to step back and reevaluate and think about what I want my presence to mean on social media.

I know that some people think that’s absolutely crazy. Some people think it’s absolutely not necessary. After all, like I said….technology does have benefits and sometimes it’s just SO WONDERFUL to snuggle up on the couch and watch a show. Some people will read this post and think “must be nice”. But I’m challenging you…..try it! Talk to your spouse. Get on board with something like this together. Try a week with no social media. Or a week with no TV. Or a weekly game night. Whatever you do, take a step away from the media of our day and age and BE INTENTIONAL. Read a book. Don’t worry about what is happening on IG stories or how many followers you could lose by skipping a month of posting. Look into your spouses eyes and listen to them talk about their work day (even if it isn’t your preferred subject matter). Especially if you are going through a hard time, I highly recommend doing something like this.

We are only halfway through the month, and I am looking forward to getting back to watching a show occasionally and sharing my heart away on IG stories. I know that this is temporary, but I also know that it is worth it.

Have you ever done a social media or media fast? How did it go? What did you learn through it?

Does a challenge like this interest you for future months? Is this something you would like to sign up and be accountable and do it together? For February, we are planning a no spend month, for March we are planning a daily marriage challenge and for April we are planning a daily hiking challenge! I haven’t planned much beyond that, but would love to hear from you if you are interested in joining!