It Felt Like A Responsibility, Not a Privelage

All right, fellow empaths- where you at? How are you hanging in there on this election week?

I know I’m feeling a bit crumbly inside. I just wanted to share a few of my thoughts and I’m hoping that it will encourage someone else out there who is feeling a similar way.

I didn’t vote early.

Because I didn’t know who to vote for.

As an empath, I feel all the feelings of all the people. I’ve sat for months and thought about the compelling arguments for both sides. I’ve considered the pros and the cons of both political parties. I’ve watched dear friends make their points on either side of the fence, and I’ve listened and nodding in understanding. I know the character of people voting for Trump and respect and love them. I know the character of people voting for Biden and respect and love them.

But I still didn’t know who to vote for.

I know many people who feel strongly in JUST one direction. They can’t imagine how a Christian can vote Republication, especially with that parties current representation. The other side of the fence cannot imagine how a Christian can vote Democrat, especially with some of the current policies. These people (no matter what their political affiliation) feel strongly about their vote and have no hesitation about what to write on the ballot. These are the people who also have the loudest voice on social media, and often in real life, too. If you are one of these people- applaud you! I seriously admire you for your strong convictions and your ability to stand in them no matter what.

I am not one of those people. I see strong points for both political parties. I also see strong points against both political parties.

I just didn’t know who to vote for.

But I’ve only been told 1089897234987 every time I open up an internet browser that I need to GO VOTE. So I somewhat reluctantly went to vote on Election Day. As I drove to my polling location, I still didn’t know who I would vote for. I expected a long line, but there was no line at all. The wonderful poll workers ushered me in and directed to a polling booth. They asked me a lot of questions, simple questions that I struggled to answer (do you want to vote electronic or paper? This was a paralyzing question for me because I overthink what the RIGHT answer is. Spoiler alert: there is no right answer). I walked to the poll location and paused in front of the screen.

This didn’t feel like a privilege. It felt like a responsibility.

Tears came to my eyes.

I still didn’t know who to vote for. There didn’t seem to be a good answer.

(Yes, I am aware that some of this problem may be solved by absolving the bipartisan election system that we have in this country. But, also, some of this could be solved by having elected officials who love God and care about people. But this post is not meant to be a political debate, so I will leave it at that. Please don’t tell me it seems like my problem is that I need to vote 3rd party. We all know that while that is an option, it’s also not a great option.)

I overheard the conversation from the poll workers behind me. They were talking about how kind and loving people had been all day long. How they had experienced no rudeness or party fighting, even though they kind of expected it.

I cried a little, sniffling in my mask.

Pushed a button.

It didn’t make me feel any better. And for the record- voting the other direction would not have made me feel any better, either. This is not a guilt issue. I don’t feel guilty for voting one way or another.

I feel responsible.

What if I made the wrong choice? What if my decision deeply affects someone in a negative way? What if something goes incredibly wrong and my own family is deeply hurt by the choice? Also- if we can all choose to be critical thinkers, I hope that we can all admit that these questions should be asked no matter the political party or which way we cast our votes, because it really can go any way.

See? I told you I’m an empath and I deeply internalize how every individual person in the world will feel based on MY decision. Sometimes it’s a strength. I listen to people. I hear all sides of the issue. But then, I struggle to make my OWN strong opinion. I just bow to everyone else’s opinion– after all, they do have valid points.

As a side note- I bought a shirt earlier this year that says “Be Kind”. When Theo saw me wearing it, he said “You don’t need a shirt that says ‘Be Kind’. You are already too kind. You need a shirt that says ‘Be Firm’ or ‘Be Opinionated'” HAHA. If that doesn’t sum up our personalities, I don’t know what does!

Anyone else feeling this way? This heavy pull of not knowing how to make the right decision, and wondering how many people will deeply hate you for the decision that you made?

Here is my encouragement for you today if you are anything like me, and feeling the responsibility of voting in 2020 without much of the privilege.

• Feel free to allow yourself to feel confident in your vote. It may not have felt like there was any right choice, but you did your best
• Do not put confidence in man. Put your confidence in Christ
• If your preferred party does not win, remember that it doesn’t stop you from being active within your community. Policies and presidents are very, very powerful, but I believe that they are not as powerful as kitchen tables and backyards. Whatever we are passionate about, whatever we wrote on the ballot- we can still implement that into our every day lives. Caring for immigrants, supporting small businesses, supporting police officers- we can do all of that even if the highest level of government office does not seem to.
• Stay off social media. I think we would all be shocked at how civil and kind most people actually are in real life. If there is one practical thing I could tell everyone to do these next few days/weeks, it is to stay off social media. You might save a friendship and your own mental health by doing so. Also, be wise with what you do post on social media.
• Continue with real life relationships with people who are different from you.
• Remember the Words of Scripture- God is in control (Isaiah 55), He cares about His people. The election does not surprise Him. Turn to the Word of God today and spend some time in worship, prayer and reading God’s Word.
• Remind yourself that it is actually a privilege to live in the country and have the ability to vote. This is not the case for millions of people around the world.
• Breathe. Go outside. Stay off the screens. Grieve. Rejoice. Be Thankful. Talk to a friend. Cry. Hug your Babies. Don’t forget to pray.