I just finished up my third round of parent teacher conferences since I started teaching! I am fresh enough to still be a newbie but also experienced enough to hopefully offer some good tips for anyone who is either a parent or a teacher going into conferences. I’ve had some great conferences, some not so great ones, and everything in between. I just thought I would compile some tips to share if you are going into parent teacher conference and are feeling a bit nervous!
For Teachers:
- Have work samples and examples of things that you want to talk about- from a spelling test to an amazing piece of artwork that the student scribbled in the margins of their pages. Parents want to see what you are seeing in their child!
- Remember that every single parent you talk to is thinking about their babies. This isn’t a student to them. It’s a whole entire person that they birthed or prayed for, and have put countless hours and days and years into raising. As teachers, we tend to pick up a lot about a family from their kids, but we still just do not know everything. Be prepared to listen with patience and grace and to also speak words kindly to the parents.
- Remember that a child’s greatest strengths are also often their greatest weaknesses (Strength = being able to get along with anyone. Weakness = can’t stop talking). And God has made them uniquely this way. I always remind my parents that probably what we are seeing as a strength or as a weakness is what God is going to use in mighty ways one day. A child that won’t stop talking and sit down could end up being a CEO of a hospital, power walking through those halls and talking to everyone they pass along the way.
- As a teacher (especially of littles) we are often teaching just as much character as academics. Learning how to interact with one another, how to follow multi-step directions, how to use common sense and observation skills- that is all happening in the classroom. Don’t be afraid to point out those skills, too!
- It’s ok to make a personal connection, but also remember to keep it professional. Have conversation, but get to the point.
- If you feel concerned or intimidated by a parent, it’s ok to ask for a third party to be present in the room to monitor or mediate.
For the Parents:
- Remember that you are the parent- you know and love this child and you are their greatest advocate. Speak up for them! But also keep in mind that the teacher has been trained to teach and may have more experience on the academic/behavioral side of things. That doesn’t mean that their word is gold, but it does mean that you should listen and try to hear where they are coming from. Many times a parent doesn’t observe a certain behavior or concern because they aren’t with their kiddo in a group setting. The teacher sees the kid in a completely different setting and may have observations that don’t entirely match what you see at home.
- Remember that your worth as a parent is not defined in how your child is succeeding or not succeeding. There are MANY, MANY fabulous parents whose kids struggle, and vice versa.
- On that note, remember that academics is not the only mark of a successful person. Hopefully your child’s teachers can see and recognize this, too.
- Teachers can tell when effort is being made or not made at all. Parental involvement does not equal a perfect child. Children are their own person and often a parent can be doing everything right and still not see the “best outcome”. But we teachers can tell when a parent is truly caring and truly trying and when they just aren’t.
- If a teacher tells you something that is very hard to hear (I have concerns…., Here is what I’m seeing…) take time to process that information. It is a LOT to hear hard news at a parent teacher conference. If you feel like the teacher is incorrect, or out of line, I encourage you to sit with the emotions for a day or two and then approach the teacher again. If that does not work, feel free to contact administration. But remember that hearing hard news and having high emotions about it does not mean that the person is a terrible teacher, and many a teachers jobs have been hurt for high emotions escalated after hard news.
- Its ok to email the teacher and ask him/her for clarification on anything that you may have forgotten or missed! Better over communication questions than misunderstandings.
For everyone- take a deep breath. Hopefully parent teacher conferences are smooth sailing for you, but I know that is not the case for everyone! Sometimes a teacher is not the best fit for a particular family and sometimes a family is not the best fit for a particular teacher! That’s ok. Just remember that you are a team and it’s important to try to problem solve to work together for the best outcome for the student. I hope that this helped someone think through parent teacher conferences, or calms some nerves before going in!