You Can Simplify Christmas

Hi there, friends!

A little bit of a different post than I usually write, but I just know that someone out there needs to hear this. This year- I’m exhausted. I don’t know if it’s the difficult pregnancy, or the fact that I’m in a new house (once again) for Christmas, or if it’s that the external world seems to be in chaos….but I’m struggling to feel that fabricated holiday joy.

The one that has an activity for every day of advent.

And a perfectly decorated home.

And my house smelling like cookies and vanilla and ringing with holiday joy.

And presents piled up under the tree.

Don’t get me wrong- those things are GREAT! And if I could order them in an (affordable) box this year, maybe I would.

But the truth is that maybe what we really need this year is to simplify Christmas. To not have an endless to-do list and a full calendar and all the things that we fee like we need to make Christmas magical. Maybe what we need this year is not to max out credit cards so that our kids have abundant gifts. Or to give to a charity so we feel better. Maybe it’s ok if we skip some of our annual traditions. Maybe it’s ok if we just dial it all way, way back.

The kids might remember. They might remember the year that they didn’t have as much under the tree. They might remember the year that they didn’t do this or that tradition. But most likely? They won’t remember.

I remember a genera idea of Christmases growing up. But the one Christmas that really stands out to me is one that was quite traumatic for our family. A few days before Christmas (maybe the night of the 23rd or 24th?) my brother had a grand mal seizure in his sleep. At the time, my family lived in a remote village in West Africa and didn’t have access to any medical care for him. While he seemed fine after the haze of the seizure wore off, my parents were advised to take him to the capital city and seek medical treatment immediately. I distinctly remember everyone racing around the house packing up for an undetermined amount of time, not sure what we would need or not need. I remember putting all of our (wrapped) Christmas presents into a box to take with us. And I remember somebody running into our bathroom and grabbing the bathroom Christmas tree. This thing was probably 6 inches tall and (I think?) it was purple. We loaded everything up and drove the 4 hour drive to the capital city where we stayed at a guest house and my brother underwent a lot of scans and tests. I don’t remember a single thing that I got for Christmas. But I do remember that tiny little purple Christmas tree in the guest house living room and our presents that we pulled out from the cardboard box.

That Christmas was not fancy. In fact, it was shrouded with an air of sadness, trauma, and worry. There may have been cinnamon rolls? I am sure that my parents were stressed and worried OUT OF THEIR MINDS but I truly don’t remember any of that. Like I said, I don’t remember a single one of my gifts. And yet it’s one of the most memorable and special Christmases to me. ((My brother ended up being medevaced later that month to France and underwent even more tests and scans. He was diagnosed with epilepsy and still lives with it to this day.))

Maybe this year my kids will remember that the tree went up way later than normal. Maybe they will remember that Mom didn’t have much energy and didn’t bake much in the kitchen. Maybe they will remember that they didn’t get many Christmas presents because money was tight. Maybe they will remember that we didn’t go to any parades or tree lightings and maybe our camera rolls will even reflect this with very few pictures taken.

But maybe….just maybe. They will remember family. They will remember laughter. They will remember time spent together for our first Christmas at our new homestead. They will remember not the gifts that they got, but the creative way that our family stepped back from the hustle and bustle and cuddled close together. They will remember Mama’s big belly and a time before baby #4 was spending Christmas with us. They will remember reading books and feeding our animals and washing the dishes and all those little moments that add up to the big moments of childhood. Maybe they will remember this Christmas as the one where the Christmas story of the Bible made more sense, because as we step away from the material and hustle and bustle of the Christmas season, we actually step closer to the way the first Christmas was.

I just want to write this to remind myself that it’s ok if I don’t have a checklist and I haven’t done everything to make Christmas “magical”. Because the “magic” of Christmas actually comes in the simplicity and beauty of letting it go and focusing on the people that are with us at this time. And how Christ came into the world through the swollen womb of a woman. A woman who probably had morning sickness and who certainly had labor pains with no epidural. A Christmas that was so simple that most people missed it entirely.

So if all the hustle and bustle of Christmas seems overwhelming to you this year….this is your permission to let it all go.

It’s ok to simplify the Christmas season.

A few practical ways to Simplify:

• Don’t do a daily advent calendar- devotions, toy, activity- whatever it is that you feel must be done daily in December
• Pick a (very small) budget for Christmas gifts- $25 or $50 per person. Stick with it.
• Only decorate with half your decorations. Ask yourself if there is anything in particular that you really miss. If you can’t even remember what isn’t taken out, maybe reevaluate how to want to decorate for future Christmases!
• Instead of ordering and sending holiday cards, just order one or two for yourself to keep for memory sake
• Go for a hike in the cold
• Only bake if you enjoy it and feel like you want to be in the kitchen
• Decorate for Christmas late (like wait for the week before Christmas)
• Decline going to a holiday party IF it feels too overwhelming. “NO” is a complete sentence, no need to have a valid reason. If you LOVE holiday parties and socializing- go for it!
• Don’t read gift guides or click on links explaining what other people are getting for Christmas. Mute or unfollow people who are doing Christmas how you WISH you could do Christmas. In fact, step away from social media for the whole month of December. Live in your own home and with your own people without any awareness for how someone else is celebrating Christmas
• Remind yourself that taking a break this year doesn’t mean necessarily mean that you won’t ever do those things again.
• Check out Christmas books and cookbooks from the library. It’s a wonderful, free way to feel inspired.