The Great Nose Collapse Weekend of 2023

Ok, grab yourself a snack and a drink and find some childcare for your kids, because this a LONG story! I wasn’t going to write it all down, but the more I thought about everything that happened to us over the course of one weekend, I felt like it just has to be recorded in this space.

Some background information before you begin this story:

1. We met our (incredibly high) insurance deductible since we had a baby this year, so we have been trying to get a lot of medical procedures done and out of the way before 2024 arrived. This surgery was highly recommended, but elective.
2. I have something called emetophobia. It’s the phobia of vomiting. Just keep this in mind as you read.
3. Kiah had been feeling off all week. He had very little appetite and said his belly hurt since Sunday. He even got sent home from school on Tuesday, but seemed to be better on Wednesday and Thursday.

Thursday

5am- it’s time to be up and out of the house to drive Theo to his surgery. He is getting his deviated septum fixed! We are hoping he will be able to breathe better and sleep better at night. His surgeon said his nostril is basically completely collapsed. Surgery should take 2-3 hours and recovery about an hour before going home.

6am- My parents come to our house to get all the kids up and to school. My Mom takes Ori home with her. Theo and I leave for the hospital surgery center.

7am– arrive at surgery center and get checked in. Lots of old people in the waiting room lol. I have a whole bag of things to keep my occupied for the day. Surgery is scheduled to begin at 9am. Theo is starving and thirsty, but too bad.

8am- They take Theo back and do some prep work (changing into gowns, meeting his surgery team, etc).

10am- still haven’t started surgery, but they kick me out to the waiting room and say that it will start soon.

10:15-1:15- Theo is in surgery. I read a book, sew, listen to a couple podcasts, visit the pharmacy for his meds, get some lunch, go back to the pharmacy, pump in the bathroom 2x and try not to be nervous or be on my phone (I don’t succeed at either one).

1:15- They tell me he is out of surgery and the surgeon said everything went great! Yay! I am told to go back and wait in the waiting room until they call me to come see him (usually about 15-20 minutes)

3:00– it has now been almost two hours and I’m starting to be very antsy, kind of suspecting that something is wrong. I am pretty sure that he is doing a lot of vomiting and that he probably told the nurses to not let me back if that was the case.

3:15– they finally call me back, and indeed he has been VERY sick. VERY, VERY sick. They have tried every anti-nausea medication they have, and he is still very sick. He continues to gag and vomit and be sick for about 2 more hours. He can’t move or he is sick. He is so weak they have to give him 3 bags of fluid. I am trying to be a good “in sickness and in health wife” but this is AWFUL. I’m also trying to coordinate plan B childcare since plan A had me and Theo getting home by 3:30. Plan B childcare turns into Plan C childcare and at this point I’m anxious and worried and very stressed about making sure that each child gets to where they need to be and isn’t left at school by themselves! My Mom drives out to pick up the boys and another family takes Tera to her basketball practice and then drops her off at my parents church after practice.

5:00pm– The nurse informs me that the surgery center closes by 6, and we need to either be admitted to the hospital or go home. Theo is still incredibly sick and he can’t even move. He is insisting on going home, but I know I would practically have to carry him inside and I can’t do that. The nurse also says they have given him everything they can for the nausea, but she can try *one more medication* (we will officially call it *that* medication. It plays a big part in the rest of the story). She gives him a dose of *that* med through his IV. He still has IV fluids and is in a lot of pain because he hasn’t had any pain meds after surgery. He can’t even keep down an ice chip, let alone a pain med.

5:30- That medication seems to have helped and Theo can at least move his head side to side without vomiting. When I say it was awful, I mean that even the nurses were saying they hadn’t seen it this bad before. The nurse gives him a second dose of *that* medication.

5:45– The nurse and I get Theo into his clothes and into a wheelchair. This seems miraculous to me! We wheel him out and there is not a soul left in that place except us and the cleaning lady. We get him into the truck and I begin the drive home, just hoping he won’t barf on me.

6:30-8:00pm We finally get home and I get Theo settled on the couch. He has not eaten anything in 24 hours and is incredibly weak. Also in a lot of pain. I call my BIL and ask him if there is anything I should do. He is really surprised that they didn’t prescribe any more anti-nausea meds. I dig up a zofran from our bathroom closet and give it to Theo. He is able to eat a piece of toast and drink some water. I give him one of the heavy pain meds and tell him to settle down. He is SO COLD. Meanwhile, my Mom brings Ori back to me so I can feed him and have him throughout the night. I drag a mattress out to the living room and lay down with Ori, with Theo on the couch next to me.

10pm- Theo is very restless. He is cold, then hot. He’s moaning and complaining about pain. He tries to watch a movie but gives up at 30 seconds or so. He tries to sleep but can’t. He gets up to use the bathroom like 20x (thanks, 3 bags of fluid lol). I’m worried about him falling since he’s still so weak. I get up to check on him and he’s in the bathroom.

11pm- It’s like a scene from the beautiful mind- he has all of the discharge paperwork, all of his medications and all of his cotton swabs/nose swabs spread all over the bathroom. His eyes are so red-rimmed and he has a panicked look on his face. At first, I thought he was being a bit of a wuss with the pain. But then it hit me: he looks like he’s on drugs! He IS on drugs! I gave him an oxy. He’s totally having a bad reaction to the pain meds! I tried to coax him back to the bedroom, but he was agitated. He did not want me to touch him. He was antsy and itchy and twitchy and really out of control of his mind. I had him lay down and I read him 23 chapters of psalms. Literally, I started with Psalm 1 and just read through to 23. He said it helped him stay calm but after about 15 minutes he was up, pacing. He was nearly clawing at his face and then he started to say some really scary stuff. Self-harm scary. When I tell you that I had this bone-chilling fear come over me in that moment. I called my BIL again while Theo said he needed to take a shower because he was so itchy. I tried to stay calm, and I’m so thankful that Ethan talked me through the next part. He said to hide anything in our house that is a weapon and to get him to the ER immediately. Thankfully, Theo was lucid enough to know that he was going out of his mind. He looked right at me and said “I need help”.

12midnight- I load Ori and Theo into the truck and begin to drive to the ER. I call my parents and ask them to come meet me at the ER and get Ori. I am terrified that Theo is going to go over the edge and actually do something- to himself, to me, to the baby. I am driving and just praying that he stays lucid enough to not hurt someone. I am terrified that he will be put in the psych ward and lose his job.

We get to the ER and they triage him right away. He looks awful and is incredibly jittery. We wait in the waiting room for about an hour. I look down and notice that I wore my chicken coop slippers to the ER. And they have chicken poop all over them. I’m telling you…the random things that pop into my head during a crisis are just something else haha! My Dad came to the ER and sat with us until they get a Theo in a room, then takes Ori back to his house.

1am- The doctor sees Theo and looks at the list of meds he has taken. Turns out, it wasn’t the oxy causing the reaction, it was *that* medicine. They one that they gave him a double dose of for the nausea. Yeah, *that* one. One of the top side effects of it? Psychosis. THANKFULLY, the antidote was easy: Benadryl. The ER doc was appalled that they had administered *that* med without Benadryl. He said it was common practice to always give Benadryl with it. Psychosis is nothing to mess around with, and Theo had a “mild” case of psychosis. In hindsight, I can’t believe how many ways it could have gone so much worse. What if I was just sleeping in the bedroom and didn’t even know he was up, practically climbing out of his skin? What if he had taken it one step further and accessed a weapon? Shudder. Thank you, Lord, for protecting us.

Within 10 minutes of getting Benadryl, Theo calmed down and was finally OUT. He was still in so much pain, but he said at least he just had pain, not pain + insanity. He slept off and on for the next four hours, while I curled up in a hard chair with two metal arms and also tried to get some sleep. I didn’t get any, but I did have a crick in my neck for the next two weeks! Ha!

5:30am- After two doses of Benadryl and 4 hours of observation, Theo is calm (and very out of it haha) and they release him to go home. He needs Benadryl every 4 hours for the next three days or the jittery “out of my mind” symptoms of psychosis will come back.

6:30am- We arrive home. I pump and fall into bed.

Friday

8:30am- I wake up and text my Mom about coming to pick up Ori. I’m exhausted and hope that today can be a day of rest. That was my first night away from Ori and it wasn’t fun for either of us. Theo is in a lot of pain and still very out of it from Benadryl. Thankfully, he is hungry and wants some breakfast. I also need to go to the store and get him some more Benadryl. My Mom texts me back the night had not gone well at their house. Ori has been up most of the night. And at 4am, Kiah had woken up…and thrown up everywhere.

I could tell that my parents were absolutely exhausted, and I was also exhausted. I felt like I needed to be with Kiah and the kids, but also needed to be with Theo. And I knew that I couldn’t have sick kids around Theo. I called my MIL and asked her if she could come down from Michigan to help us for the weekend. She packed her bags and was on the road within an hour! I am SO thankful. We needed SO MUCH HELP. My Mom grabbed some Benadryl (and diapers, because in the middle of the night transfer of Ori, I forgot to give them the diaper bag oops!) and then brought Ori to me. I called several men in our community and asked them if they could come sit with Theo. He was still in such bad shape that I didn’t want him to be alone at all. Thankfully, Jeff was able to come over right away and sit with Theo so I could go back to my parents house to be with the kids. Kiah was pale and not feeling well at all. He just seemed so off, it was really worrying me. It didn’t seem like a typical stomach virus. I told him that if he still wasn’t feeling well the next day I would take him to the doctor. I called the pediatrician and they said they had no openings, so to take him to urgent care if I felt like he needed to be seen.

10am-1pm– spent the morning and lunchtime with the kids at my parents house. After lunch, I put a movie on for the kids and went back to our house to check in on Theo. I was running on less than two hours of sleep so I laid down with Ori and took a nap. When I woke up, my mother in law had arrived and I was able to leave and go back to my parents house.

5pm- back to my parents house with all four kids for the night. I’m pretty sure we were all asleep by 8pm. Thankfully, we all slept well that night. Well, except that I was still up with Ori 4-5 times.

Saturday

8am- It was not working for me to have Theo at one place and the kids at the other and me needing to be in two places. Kiah was still not feeling well at all, so I decided I would take him to urgent care. We got some breakfast and then headed back to our house. I dropped the three kids off with my MIL (and Theo) and then took Kiah straight to urgent care. Theo was improving daily but still had the psychosis side effects if he didn’t take the Benadryl. And if he did take the Benadryl, he was pretty out of it. He had a lot of pain and discomfort, too.

10am- With Kiah at Urgent Care. The nurse and PA and doctor all ask him if anything hurts, and he says no (eye roll). I look directly at the PA and tell her that I know none of his symptoms on their own are concerning, but something in my “Mom gut” is telling me that something is wrong. Thankfully, they all took me seriously. They tested his blood sugar, got him an x-ray and low and behold….a severe intestinal blockage. They gave us laxatives and said to stay close to the bathroom for the next three days.

1pm– Finally, we are all back home together. It feels like we have all fallen apart into a million pieces! Thankfully, a friend put together a meal train and so many people were reaching out to help us as needed.

1am- The laxatives for Kiah are working great! Unfortunately, that means that he and I are up most of the night. I would nurse Ori, then help Kiah, then help Theo. Repeat all night long. That was a long and difficult night.

Sunday

I don’t remember much about this day, except that I had a nice meltdown. 🙂 I had been holding it all together and there was no more of me to hold anything together. Everyone was going to be ok, and that was the moment that I could be not ok.

Monday and On

Finally, a return to “normalcy”. Theo was weaning off the Benadryl and thankfully the psychosis was also going away. Theo was finally able to just deal with recovering from surgery. Kiah was also improving dramatically! We had one more day of school on Tuesday and then it was Christmas break for us. It took me about a week of “normal” to feel like I could catch my breath, but eventually things have started to feel normal again.

It was WILD and hopefully we never have to deal with such an ordeal again! I am so thankful for every person who stepped up to help- we had a meal train, we had people drop everything to come and sit with Theo, we had someone drop off a whole bag of activities for the kids to do, we had people praying for us and we had both sets of our parents practically drop everything to help us out. During this trial, we knew that it was going to be ok in the end, but it just felt like we were being pummeled by one thing after another and that truly was one of the hardest weekends of my life. Theo has declared that he will never be having surgery again, so there is that 😉