Thoughts on a Gift-Free Christmas

As the holidays approached this year, Theo and I both wondered what it would be like to have a Christmas without all the presents. I’ll admit, it first started as a “haha what would that be like” idea, and turned into a “we should just try it!”

And so we did.

Now, let me be clear. We decided to not exchange gifts as a family. My kids still received some small gifts from both Grandparents, and they did a cousin gift exchange.

Here are some reasons why we decided to not do presents this year:

• We honestly have SO MUCH already. Our house is small and I feel like I’m constantly trying to get rid of things. All of the kids have late summer/fall birthdays, so we just went through a whole round of getting new things.
• No one can remember what they got for Christmas last year. The excitement wears away within a week or so and it just seems so excessive. I would rather save the money and go buy a random lego set in the doldrums of January or February instead of loading them all up in one day on Christmas.
• The presents thing really takes the focus away from what we believe is the reason for the holiday- celebrating Christ’s humble birth. And spending time together as a family.
• We’ve been watching Little House on the Prairie and were humbled by the realization that the kids were overjoyed to receive an orange and a tin cup. We have come so far from those times, although there are many in the world right now who would be thrilled by an orange and a cup. Although many things have improved in life since then (modern medicine, cars, heat in our homes, etc), there are so many ways that we want to just live a simpler life, and taking the focus off of “things” is the primary way we can do that right now, in 2024.
• Some might be surprised to hear that my love language is gifts, so I wasn’t sure how I would feel about taking away gifts. But, it was SO FREEING. I think gifts should be meaningful and thoughtful, and I’ve learned that a lot of Christmas gifts feel more forced because we need to get a gift for everybody, or we need to make sure the kids all have the same amount of gifts, or the same money spent. Instead, I would rather thoughtfully buy a gift anytime in the year and enjoy it!
• Financially, buying Christmas gifts can get really stressful. Even when we kept the budget around $50-$75 per person, that is still $300 just for our family, not including teacher gifts, extended family gifts, gift exchange parties, etc! Theo read that the average American kid receives almost $400 worth of gifts on Christmas. And, honestly, most of us just don’t need all that much.

So, one night at dinner we told the kids that this year, we wouldn’t be doing presents. They were understandably a little bit disappointed, and had some questions. We told them that we just really wanted to use our money well, and that we wanted to make Christmas more special and meaningful for our family, without the focus on gifts. We told them that we could still make some homemade gifts if they wanted, and that we would use the Christmas money from grandparents to buy a family activity/gift. I also reminded them that they had spending money if they really wanted something, and that we could also maybe get a new game or lego set later in January or February. After having this discussion, they didn’t complain or ask about gifts anymore. They did bring it up a couple of times, but we just circled back around to the reasons behind not doing it, and that was that.

My observations from this experience:

• I cannot tell you what a weight was lifted off my shoulders during the month of December. I didn’t have to shop like crazy, make everything even, wrap presents, worry about shipping, etc. I never understood how much mental (and physical) energy was going into Christmas present shopping and preparing. It was the best December I’ve ever had! And, remember- I love buying gifts for people! I just HATE the pressure of it all getting done before December 25th.
• Christmas Eve was a bit hard for me. I didn’t know how we were going to feel waking up on Christmas. I was worried that it would be a huge let down and I would regret it all. I mean, the magic of waking up on Christmas morning and having gifts to open is REALLY MAGICAL. And, the feeling of sinking into the couch with all these new gifts and the kids contentedly playing with their gifts for hours….I was really nervous about what it would feel like to miss that.
• Christmas morning did feel a bit…empty. To be honest, I didn’t love it. I really wanted to fill that time with something BIG and EXCITING. Instead, we just read the Bible story, made some cinnamon rolls and enjoyed playing a game together. That lasted for about 2 hours and then we were on to the next thing, and truly no one in our family complained even once about how different Christmas morning felt.
• We ended up being with my family for the whole day of Christmas (10am-7pm). I think that if we hand’t been with family, I would have tried to plan an adventure out of the house, like a hike, so it wouldn’t have felt empty or sad all day.
• There has been no crash-and-burn disappointment from the kids (or adults, lets be honest). Because we didn’t have that HIGH HIGH that hits on Christmas morning, we also didn’t have any LOW LOWs coming down from it all. I felt calm and peaceful before Christmas, I felt calm and peaceful during Christmas, and I have felt calm and peaceful after Christmas. As someone who sometimes struggles with mild anxiety and depression, this has been a huge blessing to me!

So, do we plan to do it again next year?

Yes, with some modifications. We talked about just doing stockings next year, with some special little treats in them. Or traveling somewhere with a cabin and some hiking spots for Christmas. But, honestly, the benefits of not doing gifts at Christmas outweighed the downsides for us, and this is something that we plan to implement again next year as well!

Is this something that you would do? Or have done before? Or would like to do, but maybe haven’t heard of anyone else doing? I’d love to hear your thoughts on it!

*Remember, when I write, I am describing my life, I am not prescribing what your life should be like. While I think that many people can and should cut back on Christmas excess, I am not sharing this from a place of judgement, but rather a place of sharing and hopefully encouraging or inspiring you to think about things in a different way. To put it in internet trend language, “we listen and do not judge!”