On August 8th, 2014 I had my first baby. Prior to having a baby, I hadn’t thought too much about labor and delivery. In the months leading up to her birth, I did read quite a few books, watched “The Business of Being Born” and read approximately one thousand birth stories. Even before I went through it myself, I became fascinated by the miracle of birth.
After having a baby, I was even more enthralled. I remember going to a store shortly after having my baby, and just thinking how remarkable it was that every single person I saw had been born. So many woman have gone through birth and so many people have even done it multiple times!
On October 14, 2016; November 19, 2018; and March 16, 2023 I experienced labor and delivery again myself, and it just further confirmed how incredible the whole process is. Each of my labors was different and some were harder than others!
On March 14, 2024 I had the privilege of being a support person for my friend who had her first baby. Admittedly, I didn’t know a lot about what I was supposed to do as a labor support person, but I sure did learn a lot about how to help and how not to help. After that experience, I felt deeply that I wanted to eventually become a doula.
But, first- in case you aren’t familiar with what a doula is:
A doula is a non-medical professional who provides continuous physical, emotional, and educational support to families before, during, and after childbirth to improve birth outcomes
A doula is basically on-call to be there for the duration of labor and delivery. A doula is not medical- they don’t deliver the baby, or administer medication or even make emergency decisions. But they are there to help, support, offer advice and sometimes direction during the labor and delivery process.
Earlier this year, I had a friend who announced her pregnancy and I offered to be there if she felt like they would want some labor support. I mentioned that I had no official training, but would be happy to do it for free. When she took me up on that offer, I was thrilled but also slightly terrified and it was at that moment that I decided to go ahead and get my doula training/certification so that I could be a bit more knowledgeable and helpful about all of it!
I signed up for an online, self-paced training called Madriella. So far, I am about halfway through the course and really enjoying it. It is very in-depth and I feel like I am learning a lot through the whole process.
On January 12 (her due date), my friend delivered a beautiful, healthy baby boy at 11:10pm. It felt so special to be there for her and her husband as they brought new life into the world. My first official birth as a doula 🙂 🙂 Honestly, though, she made it look so easy and if all births were like that then people probably wouldn’t need doulas. I am going to continue my training and hopefully continue to provide my services to friends and family locally.
On that note- several people have asked me what I plan to do as a doula. And the simple answer is: not much. I am not planning to open a business or even seek to be employed in a doula group. I simply want to have the knowledge and skills to help family and friends- so maybe attend 1 or 2 births a year as needed. Who knows- maybe I have a lot of births in my future, or maybe not many at all- but I am super happy and content to just continue on with my doula certification and be in the world of birth whenever an opportunity comes up.
So, I would love to hear in the comments- what is your birth story? Did you use a doula? What was most helpful method of labor support that was provided to you? Or what do you wish someone would have provided for you?
I was just telling a friend that if I could go back I would love to be a nurse midwife! Birth fascinates me!
I’ve had 4 pretty eventful births:
#1 – I thought my first birth would be super long, so when contractions started at 5 pm I made dinner and tried to get comfortable. Things started to speed up quickly, and on the 25 min drive to the hospital I completely went through transition and delivered 15 min after arriving!
#2 – My only girl was stubbornly breech. After trying to turn her multiple times we scheduled a c-section, only for me to go into labor 2 days beforehand and led to another stressful drive to the hospital for an emergency c-section.
#3 – Surprised us 2 weeks early! My water broke at 5 am – contractions started 20 min later and we rushed to the hospital. Baby arrived 6 min after our arrival while I was standing up in a hallway!
#4 – Husband was petrified he was going to have to deliver in a car so we switched to the closest hospital possible! As soon as I thought I possibly felt a contraction we went in and they broke my water given my history and baby arrived 30 min later.
I realized I might have done my sons a disservice to their future wives when a friend had a baby this week. About 20 min retreat hearing she went into labor the kids started asking “Is the baby here yet? What’s taking so long?” I was like guys, most babies take longer than you all!
I used the same doula for all 3 of my births. She was most helpful with my first, pushing on my hips during my contractions and showing my husband to do the same. The other thing she did was to put her finger on my forehead when she noticed me tensing up instead of softening into the pain. I got to labor in water and she was the one who alerted the midwife that I was getting close (I went from 3-10 in just over an hour). For my second and third births she helped us know when to go in and was just there for overall support. I took what I had learned in my first birth and applied it to my others so she wasn’t as needed. My labors were 13 hours, 7 hours, and less than 3. I love birth too and have since I was a little girl and would watch Rescue 911. The birth ones were always my favorite. I have considered becoming a doula or even a midwife but I don’t know if I have it in me to build a business and find clients so I talk myself out of it knowing how much schooling I would need to get there.
Owen: 03/04/2014… I had prodromal labor for 2.5 weeks and then my water started leaking at 38 weeks. After 10ish hours they began pitocin and I was on it 12 hrs before I finally got the epidural being that I was still 1cm. The epidural relaxed my body and anxious brain enough that I could finally progress and 13 more miserable hours later he came with 2 hemorrhages and 3.5hrs pushing. 35 hour labor.
Josie: 01/21/2015… I had painful prodromal labor for 5 weeks and slowly progressed to 5cm. I allowed them to admit me and walked the halls, bounced and got to 6cm when I let them break my water being stuck. I got the epidural around same time because it worked so well the first time, but this time it gave me severe restless legs that I couldn’t move. I had an hours long panic attack and asked them to come turn the epidural off, but before they arrived I was 10cm and pushed her out in 20min. 12 hour labor.
Ivan: 08/17/2016… I wanted to change courses and try natural. I had my sister join us as an extra support as well. Labor began similarly with 6 weeks prodromal labor, hitting 5cm, being admitted, and allowing them to break my water. I labored in the tub, walking, around the room. My doctor let me eat during labor. I love her! I was starving for some reason! I started to doubt I’d make it when they checked me and I was 10cm. I had to hold him in as Doctor came and gloved up and in 2 pushes he literally shot out of me and my doctor kinda fumbled catching him. lol. He needed a little oxygen but then returned right to my chest. The pictures my sister took are so special, and I felt so empowered as a woman. I wish I could do it again. 8 hour labor.
My doctor let my husband catch the first 2 and he didn’t have time to get down below for 3rd one. Needless to say. 3 very different experiences. Having my sister as extra support was worth it. Even just hanging out and chatting/fooling around with my husband and her was fun and distracting!
I’m happy for you!