1st Grade By the Numbers // Hanging Up My First Grade Hat

6- the number of years I’ve been teaching 1st grade at our school

1– Degree that I have in Education (Early Childhood Education)

4– the number of aides I’ve had in my class

104– students that I’ve taught in 1st grade

3– the number of my own kids I’ve had in my class

2– the number of different classrooms I’ve been in

4– the number of times someone has puked in my class

15– number of chicks I’ve had hatch in my class

5– the amount of times I’ve danced the church clap on field day

3- the amount of times that I have taken myself to the nurse (once because I dropped something on my toe and split my toenail right off, once because I had something in my eye, and once for a hangnail haha)

100s– the amount of bandaids I’ve handed out

1000s– the amount of prayer requests I’ve taken and prayed over, even if it was kinda silly (one year we prayed for a neighbors lost cat every.single.day – turns out the neighbor didn’t have a lost cat hahahahaha)

gazillions– the amount of times I was asked the question “when is lunch?”

Phew, that kind of made me emotional! I’ve spent a LOT of time in 1st grade and I’ve poured my heart and soul into my job and these sweet babies in my classroom. I LOVE teaching first grade. I love how I am always trying to corral them like a herd of kittens. I love the sweet questions and seeing their eyes light up during a lesson. I love hearing them share their “student of the week” presentations. There have been hard days, in fact, there have been hard years!

If you read my last blog post, you may have seen that I alluded to the fact that I’m not returning to teach 1st grade next year. I’m hanging up my hat…for now.

Before you panic, don’t worry!

This isn’t some big tragic life circumstance for me, it’s a step back. There are many factors that are coming in play here, but a couple of them are:

1. I’ve actually been planning to do this for awhile. In fact, I had thought about doing it this past school year, but it wasn’t the right time. Now I feel like the time is right.
2. Can I be honest? Theo’s job has been TOUGH. There is so much that I cannot even allude to, but there is a lot on his shoulders, and if he has a stressful job and I have a stressful job, and we are both stressed…it’s just not gonna work. I need to step back from one of my stressors so that I can be a better support person until he gets his footing a bit better in this job. We love our school and it’s because I want it to succeed that I’m going to stay home for the year
3. I told my principal back in February that I was learning towards taking this step back, and she was very supportive. Then, my Dad was diagnosed with cancer in April. It’s wild to me how God knows our steps and ordains our ways before we even know. Since I won’t be teaching next year, I will be much more available as a support person for my parents through this journey.
4. I’ve been a Mom for 11 years (almost 12), and I have never consistently had a day or even a block of a day when all the kids go somewhere without me. I know that it isn’t the goal of motherhood to send my kids away, but juggling teaching, homeschooling and running a homestead is a lot and I’m just in desperate need of a time of rest. Not teaching next year means that I will have two days that the kids go to school without me. I’ll still be homeschooling them the remaining days of the week, and I know that I will have plenty of things to do to fill my days!
5. I am on the sub list 🙂 I will be an on-call sub for our school and I assume that will probably keep me pretty busy.

In my plans, this is more of a “sabbatical” year. I’m truly just planning to take a year off, and then I would love to go back. Of course, the school won’t save my spot, but I know that I am in good standing with them and can return to either the same position (if it’s available), or a different position if necessary!

Of course, making a big change like this feels kind of scary and unsettling. I worry about a lot of things…what if I hate it? What if I don’t have any adult interaction because I won’t see any of my co-workers? What if everyone forgets about me? What if I no longer feel like a part of the community? What if I never get my first grade spot back? What if being at home alone feels just as stressful as teaching and it doesn’t provide me with a reprieve? What am I going to do with all these professional clothes in my closet? Will I have to change my style because I’m not a first grade teacher anymore? What if I’m being selfish? What if the financial hit to our family is too big and detrimental? What if people judge our family because I am taking a step away? So many what ifs! So many big changes! So many unknowns!

I guess I will just have to take it one day/one week/one year at a time. God knows the road before me and I will just take the next step in faith- and for me, this year- the next step is to step back.