Woof. I honestly can’t believe that we made it. May is ALWAYS busy and intense, but I feel like every year it gets more and more insane!
We finished school on Thursday, May 21 and then had a teacher work day to clean our classrooms on May 22. For the last five days, I’ve just been in a total exhausted haze and feeling a bit dazed that the school year is over!
Professionally, it was a tough year for me. I’ve been teaching 1st grade for 6 years and this was my toughest class by far. There was no one particular child that contributed to it, but the mix of the personalities that I had in that room was something else! If you are a teacher, have you noticed how each class group has a personality? It’s fascinating to me how the dynamics shift each year and how unpredictable it can be. Even if we know the personalities of the individual kids before they step into the classroom, something can shift when students get put together. Sometimes it brings out the best in them; and sometimes it does the opposite!
Anyways- I ended this school year grieving a little bit. I didn’t feel like I got to be a “fun teacher” or do half the things that I wanted to do because I spent a lot more time than usual on classroom management and student drama. I feel guilty that my students didn’t get the fun side of me, and I wish I could have changed that (believe me- I tried). At our small school, community is really important, and I felt like this year I missed a deeper connection with the parents from my class. As I’m reflecting on this, I have to let myself take responsibility for any part I may have played in this, but I also need to just let it go and be ok with not being “all things to all people”.
Anyways. Lots of feelings there.
Personally, this Spring was ROUGH, ROUGH. I broke my elbow, followed closely by finding out that my Dad has a rare and aggressive cancer. We received some difficult personal news, and I had to get a mammogram and ultrasound for some concerning pain I have been having for a few months. It honestly felt like the hits just kept on coming. None of those things have to do with teaching or guiding the kids through their respective classes, but it sure did take a hit on my motivation to get those things done and do it with enthusiasm!
I didn’t feel like I sprinted across the finish line this year- I felt more like one of those marathon runners who collapses near the finish and needs to be carried/helped across the line.
My kids were VERY enthusiastic about it BEING SUMMER BREAK, but Theo and I sat down and told them that we couldn’t muster up a single solitary ounce of excitement until Monday. We requested that they give us 3 full days of recuperation before we dove into the summer bucket list and big dreams/ideas that they have. Hopefully they won’t be scarred for life due to this request haha. We DID also host a bonfire for well over 100 people, so that counts for some fun, right?
Some years are like this.
I plan to write a separate blog post encompassing ALL the fun that we had in May, but for now…I just needed to write out some of these thoughts and feelings as a form of procession and leaving the school year behind to step into the summer months. Here’s to some slower days, some recovery time and some really great memories made as a family.
