Today was a good day.
It was chilly and windy and I didn’t accomplish much and the kids weren’t perfect angels.
But it felt like a good day because for the first day in a long time I felt like corona didn’t control my mind.
I don’t know how to explain it. I’ve been fighting and battling and using every trick in my toolbox to not let this control me, but it has felt like an uphill battle.
Theo is out there and he reports to me that it really doesn’t worry or bother him. Not because he doesn’t know the facts (he has seen someone die with that was presumed corona…soooo he obviously knows the facts). But he’s not living in fear and worry.
Last night we had a severe thunderstorm passing through, the the possibility of tornadoes. Even though I lived through the fairly scary F5 tornadoes last May, this thunderstorm didn’t cause me any anxiety. I knew it was a severe thunderstorm and I knew where we would go/what we would do if it was getting really bad. I also knew it could cause severe damage and destruction and be very scary. But I wasn’t anxious. I turned to Theo and asked him if THAT is how he feels about the coronavirus. Of course it is!
That really opened my eyes. I can know this is a terrible virus that causes major suffering and death, but I can also choose to live with that information without being consumed.
I know that tomorrow will probably be different. I may not feel as free. But today was a mentally refreshing day for me.
Yes!!! So glad! Just wanted to let you know how much I enjoy checking in to hear your updates and how you’re all doing. It makes me feel more sane because I am reminded I’m not the only one having up and then down days. But up is winning!!