(Not) Easy Like Sunday Morning

*I am writing this on my 3rd consecutive Sunday home from church with sick kids. I am feeling weary and discouraged about this. Please hear this post from my heart as I process the challenge of regularly attending church in my current season*

There is some type of song that goes “Easy Like Sunday Morning”.

Well, let me tell you what, Lionel Richie and I have very different lives, because if I were to write a song about Sunday morning, it might go something more like this:

Hard. This is really hard. This is really, really hard. Is this worth it? What am I doing? Why is this so hard?

(sing it to whatever tune you prefer in your head!)

I think that anyone who has small children and prioritizes church can relate to this. There is a lot involved in getting a crew of children out the door. Getting dressed, eating breakfast, making sure that they have all that they need. Getting on shoes and coats and then getting into the van and pulling out of the driveway on time.

Upon arriving, they need to sit still and listen, which I think we can all agree is not exactly the natural bent of a child. My kids can be loud, they can fight amongst themselves, they usually drop things and have not yet learned to enter the sanctuary with reverence. I feel like the exact example of a “hot mess” and while no one has ever said anything to me about it all, I sometimes wonder if my family is causing a rude disruption. I look around and it feels like everyone else has it together. I know that it isn’t true, but I am not able to see any evidence to the contrary. But it seems that our mess is on grand display.

Then my Mom brain goes into overdrive as I sit in the chairs with my children gathered around me. Half of them are flopping around, one of them is tripping over our bag, one of them is making faces at the baby and one of them has to go to the bathroom. Then the service starts and I begin my mental Mom gymnastics, all while trying to take my mind off of the things of the world and put them onto worshipping God. But, somehow my mind is rapidly thinking through all of the various points of parenting-in-church wisdom. Should I make them stand? Is it ok if they sit during the 7 minute long prayer? Are they distracting people around them? Do I care what people around us think, or do I just let my kids be themselves? Are they bothering the people that they are sitting with? Are the people who offer to help me every single week tired of helping me every single week? Do they secretly wish that they didn’t have to sit near my family so that they don’t have to do so much helping?

The kids head off to children’s church, and I am so thankful for this option. The sermon winds down and I rush off to the children’s wing to pick up my kids so that their wonderful Sunday school teachers don’t have to wait forever for my kids to be picked up. I bite back guilt that I have never served a shift in Children’s Church. After picking up the kids, they race back through the lobby and from then on it is a barrage of questions, comments and basic needs (I’m hungry. I need to go to the bathroom. Is John here? When are we leaving?). I feel overwhelmed by the onslaught and usually gather my things and my children and make a rather hurried exit from church.

I arrive home exhausted and depleted, but still need to prepare lunch. My natural bent wants Sunday afternoon to be quiet, slow. Cross stitching and reading a book, or maybe even playing a game together. The natural bent of my children is WE HAVE BEEN WELL BEHAVED ALL MORNING AND WE ARE EXHAUSTED AND HANGRY SO CROSS-STITCHING AND READING A BOOK IS ABSOLUTELY 100% OUT OF THE QUESTION.

And have I mentioned yet that I do all of this by myself every single week? Theo works every single Sunday of the year and while we are hoping this will change as he continues to grow in seniority at his department, for right now this is how it is. And it’s hard. And our least favorite part of his current shift.

I write all of this not to complain. Although…let’s be honest, I am complaining a little. I am writing this all down so that one day I can look back and remember how truly hard it was to prioritize church. And to know that I did it anyways. Every reasonable week that I could get my family to church, I did.

I know that well-meaning people will enter the easiest solutions in the comments…”just have sandwiches for lunch!” or “find an elderly couple to sit with who will help you!” or “just stay home in this season!”, or “you need to find a better church!”

None of these things are helpful, as I am not looking for advice or solutions on Sunday morning. I actually have a wonderful group of people that I sit with on Sunday mornings- there are 6 young people who do not have children who usually sit with me and help me with my children. My church is a wonderful place and many people have given me smiles and encouragement when they can. I think many people do not know how to help me, and I do not want to overstep boundaries and ask about my circumstances and why there is not a Dad/husband attending with us. And there are some things that only the mother can handle, no matter how helpful or well-meaning others are. My church is set up to help if there is help needed. I am so thankful for Children’s Church so I can hear the sermon. After church, we usually go to my parents house for lunch, but they have been out of the country for six weeks.

My point here is that I do have solutions in place for these problems. But it is STILL hard. And what I need on a Sunday morning is not a solution. Instead, what I need is encouragement. Things like:

You are doing a great job.

Children are a blessing.

I remember when my kids misbehaved in church…

I see you making an effort every Sunday, and it is an encouragement to others.

Taking your kids to church is worth it.

One day they will sit still.

I noticed you weren’t in church today, are you doing ok?

And chances are…if I so desperately need that encouragement, then someone else does, too. Chances are if you see a Mom flailing or floundering in church, she may just need someone to tell her that she’s doing a good job. My challenge to you today is to find someone at church who looks frazzled, and offer a word of encouragement. It could even be via text later this afternoon.

Maybe it’s you who needs the encouragement today. Maybe you are wondering if it’s really worth the effort to go to church. Maybe it seems like everyone else hat you see there “has it together”, and you know for a fact that you do not. Friend, go. Go to church. Be faithful to attend, to sit and soak in the words of Scripture being lavished on you. It will take time to get to know others, and it is not easy and it’s certainly not always pretty to be involved in a church. But it is vital. And, yes…it is worth it.